sexual humor

Can Twisted Monk, Graydancer, or Midori on Bondage Safety with Mummies be Far Behind?

Mon, 2011-10-31 08:39

Photo by Flickr user mamamusings. Cached as a bandwidth-conserving courtesy
Photo by Flickr user mamamusings. Used under a Creative Commons license.

First it was the CDC's "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocolypse," a tongue-in-cheek primer on general preparedness. Not to be outdone, just in time for Halloween, here's Planned Parenthood with advice about the hazards of unprotected sex with vampires:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: October 31, 2011 Contact: PPFA Media Office

Thinking About Having Sex with a Vampire This Halloween? Planned Parenthood Is Here to Help

Let's face it: vampires can rack up a lot of sexual partners over the years. Your vampire might be the same age as you, or she or he might be thousands of years old. But no matter how old you are, if you're going to jump into bed with a vampire, you're going to need more than a clove of garlic to protect your health.

Here are some things to think about before you enter into a sexual relationship with a vampire:

Vampires might be immortal, but you're not. It's important for both vampires and humans to get tested for STDs. Use this tool to find out if you should get tested for STDs.

Ladies, just because a vampire says he can't get you pregnant*, it doesn't mean he can't give you an STD. And guys, just because a vampire says she's on the pill, it doesn't mean that you can't get an STD. Use a condom correctly every time.

Don't wait until you're in the heat of the moment to bring up safer sex. Vampires have been known to "glamour" people to get their way, so play it safe and make it clear that you won't have sex without protection right from the start.

Remember, a vampire who doesn't care about protecting your health is not the kind of vampire that you want to get involved with. Not sure if you're dating the right vampire? We can help you figure it out.

* Let's not forget, Edward got Bella pregnant in the Twilight series, going against hundreds of years of vampire lore. So even if your vampire tells you he can't get you pregnant, why risk it? Condoms are not only a great way to prevent STDs, they're effective at preventing pregnancy. Even better, use a condom along with another birth control method.

Source: Planned Parenthood Media Office

Very cool when institutions like Planned Parenthood are able to hit the right note when attempting humor with a point.

Via Talking Points Memo

Humor, Humorlessness, and the Subtleties of Culture: Sometimes Dried Fruit is Just Dried Fruit

Sun, 2010-03-14 11:30

My 5th-Grader thought the following joke was hilarious enough to repeat it to the rest of the household

Q: Why did I have to go to the dance with a prune?
A: Because I couldn’t find a date.

If you choose to unpack the joke at all it stops being as funny. And of course if you unpacked it far enough it could stop being funny at all, mostly because “prune” has all sorts of euphemistic social, relationships, sexual, age and even age-related alimentary-canal overtones.

At least in English. At least in Anglo-American English. And not just because other languages and cultures my not use the word “date” to mean “arranged encounter with existing or prospective romantic intent.”

Prunes are dried out. Prunes are wrinkly, stiff, even leathery. With that in mind saying “I couldn’t find a date so I went with a prune” implies you’re going way past anything as tepid as “settling:” in colloquial English prunes are literally “the pits!”

Of course except for maybe the leathery part pretty much everything you can say about a prune is equally true of dates. Dried? Check. Wrinkled? Check. Has pits? Check. And you could make a pretty good case that while a date isn’t leathery like a prune is their weird, almost brittle translucent husks don’t exactly evoke youth, health, beauty, or vigor.

In other languages and other cultures and even sub-cultures… even different contexts in primary North American culture, of course, the correspondence between prunes and dates is entirely superficial such that with any amount of unpacking the joke would still be just as funny, or agonizingly corny, if you substituted dried apricots, raisins, or (ahem!) figs for prunes.

Which is, of course, exactly how my 5th grader saw it.

If you’re a seriously desperate nerd social theorist you may already have read John Allen Paulos’ Mathematics and Humor: A Study of the Logic of Humor, which includes the excellent point that a great deal of humor is a product of unexpected disjoint sets. Especially puns and other non-sequitur punchlines were the implied axioms are different from the actual ones.

(My most favorite sex joke ever, which I love repeating, is an excellent example of unexpectedly-overlapping axiom humor: Q: What happened to the couple who couldn’t tell the difference between KY Jelly and window putty? A: Their windows fell out.)

Update: For at least some context see also Re-Branding the Prune at Sociological Images.

Uh...sorry, but we were scheduled to meet with our Congressman

Thu, 2008-07-31 20:20


Image: Courtesy of CuteOverload.com

While it may not be the best place to meet with your elected representative, the men’s restroom provided a safe haven for this flock of flamingos at the Gladys Porter Zoo in Bronzeville, Texas during the recent hurricane-force winds.

See. There is a reason why women go to the restroom in groups.

Oxymoron?

Thu, 2008-01-24 20:01

So in comments the other day, Kochanie said of my comparison of skiing and BDSM

Your very thoughtful post prompts me to pose this question:
What do a fourteenth century Christian self-flagellant, a mountain climber and a BDSM practitioner have in common?

Answer: Each one uses his/her body to get to a “higher place.”

Continuing my inquiry into BDSM-ish themes is it an oxymoron to say “a subspace high?”

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