Figleaf's Real Adult Sex

Jessica Valenti Julia Serano of the, um, mainstream feminist website Feministing raises the alarm about proposed revisions to psychiatry’s main reference, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders or DSM.

...do you happen to be attracted to, or in a relationship with, someone who is differently-abled or differently-sized? Or someone who is gender-variant in some way? Well congratulations, you may now be diagnosed with a paraphilia!

Seriously.

[Contributing author Ken Zucker and Ray] Blanchard and other like-minded sex researchers have coined words like Gynandromorphophilia (attraction to trans women), Andromimetophilia (attraction to trans men), Abasiophilia (attraction to people who are physically disabled), Acrotomophilia (attraction to amputees), Gerontophilia (attraction to elderly people), Fat Fetishism (attraction to fat people), etc., and have forwarded them in the medical literature to denote the presumed “paraphilic” nature of such attractions. This tendency reinforces the cultural belief that young, thin, able-bodied cisgender women and men are the only legitimate objects of sexual desire, and that you must be mentally disordered in some way if you are attracted to someone who falls outside of this ideal. It’s bad enough that such cultural norms exist in the first place, but to codify them in the DSM is a truly terrifying prospect.

Another frightening aspect of Blanchard’s proposal is that any sexual interest other than “genital stimulation or preparatory fondling” is now, by definition, a paraphilia. In his presentation, he claimed that paraphilias should include all “erotic interests that are not focused on copulatory or precopulatory behaviors, or the equivalent behaviors in same-sex adult partners.” Copulatory is defined as related to coitus or sexual intercourse (i.e., penetration sex). So, essentially, all forms of sexual arousal and expression that are not centered around penetration sex may now be considered paraphilias.

She said this, and a lot more, here.

Quite a (dry, bitter) mouthful in my excerpt, above, but Valenti has more in her post. Read it and weep.

Or, possibly, not weep. A lot of ordinary, mundane worries, fantasies, and interests show up in the DSM — worrying that you forgot to turn off the stove, losing sleep over finances or politics, and stuff like that for instance — but is technically only a problem when taken to extremes. There’s a point on the way to the airport where my partner almost always remembers something we forgot and wonders if we should go back for it. That’s not crazy — not least when, sometimes, it’s something we really should go back for… like my wallet. Instead it’s a quirk. If she were instead immobilized and unable to leave the house because she obsessively catalogued the things we might otherwise leave behind then one of the DSM diagnoses would kick in and treatment might be sought, approved, and (assuming her insurer agreed… a big assumption) undertaken.

But still, as Valenti points out, perfectly functional people are sometimes saddled with DSM disorders. And some of the proposed “disorders” are actually nobody’s flipping business if conducted in privacy on one’s own or with other adults who decide they want to participate.

Interestingly, there’s been a lot of pressure to back off the so-called gender identity disorders that umbrella transvestism, transgender, and transsexualism. Valenti doesn’t mention whether those are still in. (The tactical and strategic reasons for keeping it in, including insurance mandates for sex reassignment, possibly makes this more complicated than it might be.) But adding being attracted to trans-men and women seems like upping the ante: it seems… disordered to attach a disorder to someone who’s something it’s not a disorder to be.

And along those lines I’m more than a little uncomfortable with designating attraction to the aged or infirm. Not least because, last I heard, it’s not a disorder to be aged or infirm. In which case you’re really aiming to screw up the lives of otherwise perfectly ordinary people by… scaring off or nailing their prospective partners.

—-

This is not, incidentally, an abstract issue. I’m fairly confident the bill died in session (as most, um, quirky bills do) but… well, remind me to post about the (now dead-in-session one hopes) Massachusetts bill “protecting” anyone and everyone over age 60 by adding “and anyone older than 60” to all child sexual assault statutes!

Cara Kulwicki of the well-known mainstream feminist website Feministe has a just-in-time reminder.

Tomorrow, May 17, is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. This year, IDAHO is focusing on transphobia:

Each year, the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (the “IDAHO”, as it is usually called), will see actions and initiatives take place in many countries and contexts and on many different issues.

All these activities and initiatives are a very strong signal to all, decisions makers, public opinion, civil rights movements, human rights defenders, etc. throughout the world that our fights for our Rights as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, intersex, etc… is vibrant!

The Day provides all different kind of actors with a very powerful opportunity to express their demands and to advocate for their case. Each year also, the IDAHO aims at using the extra public, political and media attention that it provides at all levels to highlight one specific aspect of the struggle for sexual rights.

This year, we chose to highlight the often neglected but important issue of Transphobia.

Click here to read the full appeal for rights for all trans people across the world (pdf). And then click here to sign the appeal yourself.

Remember, this is an international appeal, so anyone can sign. And of course, don’t forget to spread the word.

via Questioning Transphobia

They said it here.

Kulwicki, of course, posted this in time. I’m just a bit late to the party. Nevertheless, I’ve signed the IdahoHomophobia.org appeal myself.

For a variety of other takes see also:

• Pam’s House Blend
• The F-Word (from April 9th)
• Rebellious JezebelBlogging
• Female Impersonator
• Mariela Castro, director of Cuba’s National Center for Sexual Education
• Gender Blender Blog
• Feminist Catalyst
• Socialist Feminista

• Amy of Appetite for Human Rights (a blog for the modern feminist) (from March 30)

Reflecting on some boneheaded insensitivity to transgender issues raised in the L-Word final season Ily of asexy beast makes a connection to the way she’s often treated as an asexual, and comes to an insight with even broader applications towards orientation, identity, as well as the (inappropriate, unwanted) utility well-meaning others assign can assign to you.

Once I started on this train of thought, I realized that a large proportion of the unwanted things people say when we come out are actually attempts to make us feel better. Maybe this is obvious, but since I tend to assume everyone knows the same things I know, it took me awhile to figure out. Being told “You’re just a late bloomer” is supposed to give us hope, as is “You just haven’t found the right person yet.” If the other person can convince us that asexuality doesn’t exist, we’re supposed to find that a huge relief. Uh…no. Someone with little understanding of asexuality might think it’s a negative thing, and assume that we want to be talked down off the edge of identifying as such.

She said it here.

Good points. We tend to do a lot of that, to a lot of people. Ily mentions her exasperation upon being told when she mentioned her asexuality “But! Straight men would want to date you!” Yes, no doubt that’s true. Goodness knows enough gay women are told the same. As trans men and women are told “you’re fine just the way you are.” As men expressing emotion are told to “suck it up.” As children are told “you’d be prettier if you tied your hair back.” All well-intentioned, sure, but intentioned far more for the consolation of the beholder than for the “consoled.”

Following up on my post about transgendered women in Transamerica, I ought to mention there’s a great article about trans men in this week’s New York Times Magazine. When Girls Will Be Boys, by Alissa Quart, who is sympathetic and has a clue, really digs into the issues of identity, decision making, obstacles, and the details of transition for women who make the switch to men.

It’s funny, in conversation or even while writing this post I keep wanting to say “I don’t know why…” when addressing a perception that transvestism, transsexuality, and transgenderism is mostly about men who wish to become women. Except of course I’m pretty sure I do know: from Milton Berle to Monty Python’s the Lumberjack Song to Gottfried in Gravity’s Rainbow to 10,000 punch lines about gay men lisping and (inexplicably) carrying purses to Transamerica itself to… well… the list is long but basically pop history’s full of references real or imagined of male-to-female transitions, temporary and complete. But outside of a few plot devices in Shakespeare, Marlene Dietrich and maybe K.D. Lang, and various folk songs about women cross-dressing so they can find or be with their soldier/sailor lovers there’s just not that much there.

Which is probably sort of a blessing since often trying to buck the gender trend isn’t very well received, but also a bit of a shame because there’s not a lot of comprehension, sympathy, or support either.

(Via Courtney Martin)