Posted by figleaf
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Mon, 2005-11-28 12:23
Question #1: Would you rather look at a very chilly person in skimpy undies or the same person, very warm, in flannel PJs?
Question #2: Would you rather jump under the covers with a very chilly person who just skinned out of skimpy undies, or a very warm person who just took off his or her flannel PJs?
You don’t even have to guess what my answer would be do you?
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 15:20.
I'll take the chilly person, but only because I really hate being hot:)
[Ooh, you weren't in my house when I wrote that. It's frostin' in here. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 15:49.
Definitely a chilly person. All the more reason to warm them up.
Warm people just get warmer, then hot, then uncomfortable to touch.
[Thanks, Lasadh. Hmm. Situational adjustments are necessary here I think. I was thinking in terms of already being in bed so a chilly person getting in isn't as welcome. I suppose if you're both chilly and can warm each other up that's pretty nice. And if you're both warm already you can just toss back the covers (though it seems like that happens anyway in all but the frostiest rooms.) --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 16:11.
In both situations, warm. Please. My delicates (meaning my entire body) can't handle the chill.
[Thanks, Olympia. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 17:23.
Fig, 365 days a year, my bed has flannel sheets, with a fluffy comforter (backed with flannel) and a fake-fur coverlet. Winter guarantees me to be (at home, obviously) in my flannel pants and a sweater or sweatshirt. I have flannel underwear. It's a perfect fabric. FLANNEL. Please. Besides... It's not what's on the body but the body itself.
[Yup, it's definitely not what's on the body. Thanks, DN. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 17:24.
Situational modifiers, of course, will always apply.
In my case, in general I prefer warm person. However, there are times when chilly can be and is welcome. For example, I have the world's most annoying random medical condition - unless I'm deathly ill, my feet are perpetually SCALDING HOT.
Ranger loves this because he doesn't have to worry about cold feet on his body, but I whine about how hot they are and how it almost hurts. So a chilly person would be able to cool off my feet and make them comfortable.
Also, depending on my mood while in aforementioned bed, I might like some chilly to tease my hotter bits. Then again, that's best achieved during, say, the summertime. Or if I'm tied to the bed and expecting something mean.
LOVE the thought provoking-ness of you lately!
[Thanks, Ang. Speaking of situations, when I posed the question I was thinking about the comfort of the person I was looking at, not mine, with an eye on whether I'd rather see *her* skimpily dressed but chilly, or dressed in something more concealing but comfortably warm. I think most people have interpreted the question as whether I'd like to feel a warm or chilly body next to mine. But that just says I should either a) ask more specific questions or b) enjoy the unexpected answers. I'm choosing B. Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 17:42.
I'm hot all the time. I need the windows open in the winter. So if I were with another hot person, there might be a fire...not literally.
So I'll take the cold person and warm them up, really really well.
Will that work?
[And I think that if they know you'll warm them up then maybe they won't mind wearing something chillier to warm you up (visually) first. :-) --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 18:56.
Looks like everybody's mixing visual and tactile here, not to mention meta-levels!
Bare skin is generally sexy, both to see and touch. That's low-level "hardwiring", pretty much animal-level instinct, fed by direct sensations.
Comfort and happiness are also generally sexy. That's instinct too, but it's on a much higher level of mental processing. Here, the response is fed by mental processes -- sympathy and caretaking. Now, those depend on more factors -- temperament, learning, and especially relationship -- but at the same time, higher-level processes usually override low-level responses (because that's what they're for).
E.g.: Normally, if I see a cute girl in a miniskirt, I find it sexy. But when I recently saw the same on a (very) chilly day, I just felt (even) colder myself. If it had been someone I knew (and presumably liked), I'd have wanted to help....
[Thanks, David. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 20:42.
Um, either?
David has a point, though... Cold skin looks like aroused skin, which is always nice. But a nice warm body's nice too...
Decisions, decisions... Too bad I don't really have to make that call.
[Yeah, there's the whole "perky nipple" thing, which is often mistaken (ok, sometimes accurately) as arousal. Plus goosebumps pull all our skin tight which makes us look more taught all over. I just worry that chilly equals harder to arouse. Luckily not everyone feels that way! --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 20:42.
Actually, thinking about that girl (and many others like her) brings up a question of my own...
How much discomfort or other trouble are you folks willing to put up with in the name of "looking sexy"?
Besides baring skin to frigid weather, I've often seen women tottering along in spike heels (and once, lamed after a heel broke). On men, women, and "other", I've seen outfits tight enough that they *had* to be damn uncomfortable. Of course there's the history of corsets etc, not to mention such horrors as foot-binding.
All this seems pretty bizarre to me, but then, my concern for my own appearance is pretty basic -- grooming and "presentable" clothes. (Even there I was a late bloomer, though I've always favored bright shirts.)
Likewise, (despite my recent comment about fig's HNT photos), my interest in exercise has usually been about stamina, and fortifying my weak back. I'm only occasionally bothered by my moderate paunch. I've never cared much about my male-pattern-baldness, either. (Admittedly, that's a family thing -- I look a lot like my Dad and uncles!)
So am I just a schlub, merely an undandified male, or ???....
[Not for me to answer, and unless you participate in something like HNT it's not for any of us to either. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 20:53.
I would like to be the shivering girl with whom the flannel clad lover sheds his clothes and snuggles next to. :-)
[Oh now *that* concept works for me. Thanks, Betty. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 21:08.
Hmmm. I loved getting warm in a big fluffy bed when I lived up north, but these days, I kind of am partial to a warm body, sunwarmed, after being by the pool in a skimpy suit.
But as long as the end result is orgasmic, I'll take any and all of the above options.
[Oh yeah, it's definitely a chilly-north sort of sensibility. Down south it's more a matter of dealing with sweat vs. less sweat. Mmm. Sex in front of a big slow fan in 90 degree/99% humidity weather. That's a whole 'nother nice set of parameters. But it ain't doing that in this corner of the country. Thanks, Goose. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 21:11.
I adore flannel pyjamas and I wear them year-round. You can guess what answers I'd pick...
[Thanks, JeN. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Mon, 2005-11-28 22:34.
As one who opts for comfort over, well, generally anything, I'd vote to see the person in the PJs. And I'd much rather be in bed with the warm person as well. Always a personal choice, of course.
Seeing as I'm a beginner here at your blog, I just have to compliment you on it. It's fantastic around here.
[Hey, thanks, Teresa. You're welcome to drop in anytime. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Tue, 2005-11-29 00:46.
My vote is tactile - but I prefer to be warm and cozy to chilly and pretty. ;)
[Or the way I look at it warm and sexy than chilly and pretty. Thanks, Bella. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Tue, 2005-11-29 06:31.
Considering how much I whine and complain when I'm cold (which is about 75% of the time from September to May here), I suspect my husband would prefer me happy and warm than chilly and grumpy.
[Thanks, Claire. Happy and warm is definitely more attractive than chilly and grumpy. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Tue, 2005-11-29 09:20.
You see, to me, warm = uncomfortable. When I'm too warm, I'm cranky and irritable and don't want to be touched.
When I'm chilly, I feel frisky and somewhat hyper-alert.
I've got the windows open AND the A/C running full-blast in the winter (partly because my NYC apartment is the typal inferno with the unregulated radiator), couple that with the fact that I'm a hot sleeper anyway, and just the THOUGHT of flannel (ick! yuck! keep it away from me!) and a warm body sidling up next to me is enough to make me squirm (and not in a good way).
So...I'd prefer to be chilly and exposed and that's most certainly how I'd prefer to see my partner.
[No problem with that outlook, Lasadh. Different climates (including steam-heated NYC apartments) benefit from different approaches. Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Tue, 2005-11-29 10:11.
Just to be on-topic for a change, I'd enjoy warming up a lover, as I like caretaking, but then it might take a while to actually get to the sex part (whatever, I like snuggling).
For myself, I tense up when I'm cold (that is, not sexy), and also like tactile pressure -- I wear PJs to bed and/or blankets most of the year, light PJs even in the summer.
[Thanks, David. --fl]
Submitted by 485 (not verified) on Tue, 2005-11-29 12:51.
i love heat and warm skin. flannels are much sexier to me than skimpies, cozy. rubyprincess
[Thanks, RP. I should add, since there are some difference of opinion here, that I'm all in favor of skimpies, and even more in favor of nothing at all, as long as the weather's right for it. --fl]