Lisa of Sociological Images, reviewing a YouTube-based ad for the Oslo Gay Festival takes a moment to rattle the stereotype that anal intercourse = gay sex.
How do gay men have sex?  Well, they must copy straight people as closely as possible. Therefore, they must put the penis in an opening “down there.“ Ah ha! I bet they all have anal sex all the time! I’m sure some gay men do have anal sex, but some surely don’t, and lots of straight couples do! I bet a lot of lesbian couples find a way to do it, too.
That sounds about right. Some percentage of the population, period, (don’t know how big or small but it’s some percentage) is sensorially responsive to enjoying anal stimulation. Some but, like any other random distribution, not all are gay men. But that’s not because gay men are supposed to like anal sex, it’s because gay men are part of the population. And while some of those randomly-distributed anally receptive people are gay men the rest are not. Which is where I rejoin Lisa to point out that the rest aren’t gay men. Bottom line: enjoying anal stimulation doesn’t make you gay.
Similarly some percentage of the population isn’t responsive to anal stimulation. And again I don’t know how big or small a percentage but it’s there. Some of those people are gay too. The rest aren’t. Bottom line: not enjoying anal stimulation does not make you straight.
And then there’s side B, where some percent of the population gets a kick out of playing with their partner. This too is randomly distributed. And this to does not distinguish one as gay or straight… or even male or female.
Aside: the classic illustration would be R. Mildred’s entry in the “Blowjob Wars” from a couple years ago, at the mostly-political Punkass Blog. Here’s the relevant part.
Look to the Heavens, Oh Yeh Of Little Faith, for anything that should, always, requires you sticking a digit or thumb up the guys butthole and stimulating his prostate for it be maximally pleasurable for the guy, is not supportive of the patriarchy.
...The middle finger is the fellatio finger, never forget that, and we sex-positive, feminist, heterosexuals display it to show that we know it’s proper use.
The rest of the entry isn’t directly relevant to this post but you can read it here.
Which also introduces the third factor, one that might complicate things a bit: since potential for anal stimulation, and potential interest in stimulating, are randomly distributed some percentage of the population (I don’t know how large or small) are going to be ignorant of the possibility, and a possibly even larger percentage may be indoctrinated to believe, or may just believe due to Freudian-style memories of potty training, that it’s sick, wrong, inappropriate, painful, etc. to touch or be touched “back there.”
They might even grow up with the socially-instilled belief that this randomly distributed set of characteristics is “gay…”
With the result that gay men, operating under less social stigma and, indeed, influenced by stereotypes might be more inclined to find out if they enjoy anal stimulation and/or stimulating. But… if they’re part of the distribution then even though they might be more inclined to try it, they’re no more likely than anyone else to enjoy it. They’re just more likely to discover whether they do. Or don’t.
Point being that as with so much else about people and especially about people and sex, our stereotypes can enable inclinations or discourage them but in a way that tends to confine everybody.
Final note: Based on conversations and reading it sure sounds like gay men get that enjoyment is distributed pretty well. Straight men, for instance, are evidently far more likely to keep pushing a partner for anal sex after she’s declined. (Which, I might add, may have way more to do with men’s drive to get that all-important no-sex class-confirming “no” from his partner than with any objective difference in penile sensation.) Gay men, on the other hand, are more likely to have found out for themselves, or learned in ordinary conversation with other experienced men, that it’s great for some but not for everybody.
No wait, final final note: R. Mildred’s post also illustrates that enjoyment of anal sex isn’t only not confined to gay men, it’s also not confined to anal penetration with a penis.
Submitted by 2642 (not verified) on Mon, 2009-01-19 10:35.
Straight men, for instance, are evidently *far* more likely to keep pushing a partner for anal sex after she's declined.
What I've heard (obviously I don't have personal experience on the gay male side) is that straight men are *far* more likely to keep pushing a partner for *anything at all* than gay men, that gay men's cruising norms involve less pressure all around after any sort of "no."
[Yup. One of my principles of the no-sex class paradigm is that if heterosexual men *expect* a no from their partners they'll keep pushing (sometimes outside their *own* comfort zones if necessary!) till they get one. (Which lets us "prove" to ourselves women really aren't interested.) Gay men, being human beings and all, undoubtedly have their own quirks, stereotypes, and ideological blinders. But yeah, trying to get that all important "no" from a partner doesn't seem to be one of them. Thanks, Lynn. --fl]
Submitted by 2642 (not verified) on Mon, 2009-01-19 11:26.
As a causation-loving nerd, I feel compelled to draw the causal structures of things whenever I see the words "causation" and "correlation".
So, a lot of people think that being gay is correlated with having anal sex, because they think being gay causes you to desire anal sex. In other words, they think the causal structure is like this. (You have to imagine that all the dashes are arrows going from left to right.)
G-D-A
Usually, when people say "causation is not correlation" they mean there's some common cause X, between the variables like this. (Ignore the dots, they're to make the spacing come out right. And again, pretend all the lines are arrows going from left to right.)
..G
./
X
.\
..A
But you think the causal structure is more like this, where N is a set of received social norms and I is being inhibited about anal sex.
G--I--A
../../
.N..D
I hope that's a little enlightening despite the crudity of the drawings.
[Good point, P. To be honest I think the right word pair is this situation actually "casual correlation" rather than causation and correlation. :-) But you're right, in formal terms it's not that the two have a common underlying cause. Since some percentage of *everybody* either does or doesn't care for ass play but until very recently people only talked about gay men it's a folk association not a formal/statistical one. Also, ooh, brave trying to draw graphs with text! I've tried adding HTML code tags to your graphs in hopes they'll render in fixed-pitch fonts. Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 2642 (not verified) on Mon, 2009-01-19 11:34.
Oh, I forgot to say that in the third drawing, the dashed arrows are meant to be inhibitory, and all the other arrows are meant to be excitatory (if that's the word I'm looking for).
[Got it. Thanks, P. --fl]