Commons 
Photo by Flickr user Sam the Ant. Used under a Creative Commons license.
If we were sitting side by side in a restaurant booth and if you slipped your fingernails along my thigh to just before the inseams meet and tickle/scratched the denim there…
Well actually this is silly because chances are extremely good we haven’t have been sufficiently introduced for you to contemplate doing that, but you really wouldn’t be able to verify what happens, but I just wanted to let you know that if you did that then all the hundreds or thousands of little muscles in the loose skin holding my testicles would tighten up and away from your tickling fingernails.
I’m not sure what it’s about. It’s not really about arousal (if you did that I might get an erection too but that’s different.) Instead it’s more like a reflex related to tickling, or changes in temperature, or surprise or some other kinds quick emotional shifts. Actually chances are your nipples do something pretty similar and maybe for similar reasons when someone’s fingernails tickle/scratch the fabric over the outer undersides of your breasts. Although chances are fairly small that anyone would do that to you in a restaurant.
I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but I think it’s funny that a lot of people (me for instance) think crinkly erect nipples are sexy even though plenty of us (me for instance) know perfectly well they don’t really signify arousal, at least not directly, any more than crinkly testicles do. And I’ve mentioned this earlier but I think it’s funny that not so many people think crinkly testicles are sexy the way crinkly nipples are.
But if neither nipples nor testicles** pparticularly signal arousal that obviously doesn’t mean playing with them isn’t arousing. I mean, either way they’ve got tons of nerve endings and especially when you’re already feeling erotic the sensation can be extraordinarily lovely. And either way it’s fun to softly pat and play and stroke them tight and then warm them soft again with palm or gentle suction… and then tickle them hard again. And I’m not sure there’s a good way to verify this, but I suspect that crinkled testicles and nipples respond to handling about the same as well, where roughness sometimes works and other times is completely cringe-inducing — sometimes from one moment to the next. It’s certainly the case, though, that sometimes partners have played with me too long and it stops feeling nice and starts feeling sore, and other times I’ve played with a partner too long and she’s asked me to stop… so if nothing else, even if it’s not an exact parallel (for instance some people like their nipples squeezed hard whereas…) it’s something to think about.
You’re welcome to chime in if you feel otherwise, of course. I’d invite you to do the inseam-tickling trick with someone you’d feel comfortable doing it with and then ask him about it, but you’d probably want to communicate clearly with them first.
[** Ok, ok, technically the little muscles are in areola and scrotums. I just prefer to say nipple and testicle. —fl]
Submitted by 2058 (not verified) on Tue, 2008-04-08 20:33.
Oh, we've been sufficiently (virtually) introduced for me to contemplate it (we must have been; you regularly make posts intended to invite me - and your other readers - to contemplate such things). But I probably wouldn't do it, or not without a signal specific to F2F circumstances.
While all those little muscles do their thing for other reasons as well, it seems to me that when they contract in response to intimate touch, it is arousal, an early stage of it. Mind you, I have an experiential bias here, in the form of having had lovers who determined their interest in sexual activity based entirely on whether they had an erection - no wood meant no desire for any sort of intimate touch. So the implied equating of arousal with (penile) erection seems kind of limiting to me.
My top choice for research partner - both my top choices, in fact (excluding you, of course) - are several hundred miles distant, unfortunately. However, I'm already thinking of other related experiments that could be conducted, if/when visits are made or I have a local research partner.
A contemplative post indeed.
Sunflower
[Yikes, Sunflower! If no erection equals no arousal for these guys what the Sam Hill are they going to do when they hit 40, or 50, or 60 or whenever it is that erections stop being all that automatic? And besides, how the heck do you get ready for round two if you wait till it just naturally comes back? But seriously, no erection just means no penile penetration. And I'm not knocking penile penetration (I'm working on a post about survivors of prostate cancer and their partners and understand how important it can be) but seriously, you can do everything else... and at least assuming functional equipment the erection often follows quickly. Also, yes, I should have been more clear that crinkling *can* be a sign of arousal, just that it's not polite to assume it is without corroboration. :-) Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 2058 (not verified) on Wed, 2008-04-09 21:53.
"What the Sam Hill are they going to do when...?" Why, when they discover that virile youth isn't their natural state after all, they're going to buy black-market Viagra and Cialis clones from shady spam-generating online pharmas, to treat the erectile "dysfunction" that's really not dysfunction at all (which is why, even if they have the guts to talk to their GP about it, s/he won't prescribe the real thing).
We - society/culture in general - are seriously deficient in allowing/encouraging men to understand their own sexuality.
Sunflower
[Oh no, we *totally* disallow men understanding our sexuality -- it's all just "well, of course for men it's easy to..." when in fact it often *isn't* easy but saying it makes us feel *intense* pressure to make it *seem* as if it were. Not so hot. And not that I think there's anything wrong with Viagra-like substances -- I wouldn't have qualms about using it if I *needed* it. Taking it to keep from seeming "vulnerable" and/or so that my partner wouldn't be "forced" to give *me* foreplay though? That wouldn't be needing it, that would be needing it to perpetuate a lie about me that I don't even believe myself! Thanks, Sunflower. --fl]
Submitted by 2058 (not verified) on Thu, 2008-04-10 04:55.
Actually any decent GP will prescribe as soon as you can convincingly mimic the depression that comes from long-term loss of function, which leaves one with a medicine cabinet of unneeded pills. But understanding THAT they're unnecessary is the real mental leap, and not one that our society's discourse about sex encourages men to make. "As much as you can, as fast as you can, because it's never enough" has been the motto, and that's a reasonable cultural interpretation of the study data that indicates that the "average heterosexual North American man" has 7 lifetime sex partners. They're going to pop Viagra because in their minds they're making the transition from "No one wants to f*ck me" to "Too old to f*ck." And no amount of "allowing" or "encouraging" "understanding" is going to bridge the gap between desire and its fulfillment.
reCAPTCHA is "Roach skilled." She may be, but I doubt it's relevant.
[ "As much as you can, as fast as you can, because it's never enough" Pretty good point, ES. Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 2058 (not verified) on Sun, 2008-04-13 15:08.
Oooh, what delicious research potential!! Playing with testicles is one of my favorite ways to play! Depending on my mood it is relaxing or incredibly arousing. I love to lie in bed and read a book with one hand and just idly play, stroke, roll, caress with the other.
However, I can say with certainty that it is never relaxing to have my nipples played with. It's always arousing. Intensely so. No touching unless we are serious. No, really. I can orgasm from just that. Yes, really. So I may have a scientific theory as to the results of the research.... which in no way detracts from the pleasure of the research! ;)
[Thanks, JRM. --fl]