Following up on my rave review of Steff’s cunnilingus tutorial I want to take just a second to present an opposing view. (One I don’t share but that’s worth airing anyway.)
A while ago I read a post by a modern young woman who said
If I ever encountered a man who didn’t like cunnilingus, I’d think he was probably either a closet homosexual or a total bastard.
[Sorry, no link to this one. It predates blogging. —fl]
Aah, to be young and not remember older days! Not that long ago nobody (admitted they) performed oral sex except the French who, after all (the rationalization went) ate snails and stinky cheese as well.
Don’t get me wrong, for some reason I started fantasizing about cunnilingus as soon as I heard about it, long before I was really clear about all the other details of sex. It was never a question of acquired taste — when I finally got to try it I immediately fell in love with the tastes, the smells, and textures of my first partner’s pussy (and every one I tasted thereafter.)
But. I remember not liking broccoli, asparagus, fish, shellfish, green peppers, mushrooms, tofu, brewers yeast, or even green peas. Oh yeah, and snails and stinky cheese. Though I’ve since learned to love those flavors too, I do remember my initial reactions. For that reason if for no other I can imagine how someone might be be daunted by cunnilingus. At least at first. :-) But seriously, if it’s ok not to like raw celery, or tomatoes, or chocolate (hard to believe but some people don’t) then it’s ok not to like other flavors either.
Anyway I’m never sure how to react when someone’s partner won’t eat her. Clearly I’m of two minds about it. First of all I can’t imagine not wanting to eat someone I was at all attracted to. As my extremely coarse southern-boy buddy (who’s brother is really called Bubba) would almost certainly have said “never stick your pecker in anything you wouldn’t eat.”
But turning the tables, it’s hard to imagine a chorus of voices agreeing so heartily that a man should ditch a partner who won’t fellate him. So…
For that reason (and that reason only, really) I’m sort of honor bound to, well, if not stand up for men who won’t go down then at least sit a little straighter for them.
It seems like if you take it for granted that all normal healthy men love to give it isn’t it just as safe to assume all normal healthy women would love to give it too? But not all women do.
And I’ve known any number of women who weren’t (and probably still wouldn’t be) comfortable even kissing my mouth after I ate them. And any number of others have they’ve said they couldn’t eat another woman. And yet they too are psychologically, culturally, and hormonally normal and sufficient people.
If all women aren’t comfortable tasting a woman’s juices why assume all men would? Their reasons for not wanting to may be surprisingly similar to their counterparts.
None of this is to argue against cunnilingus. Far from it. But in the long run furthering a maxim that “all men must” is going to be about as unhelpful as previously popular maxims such as “non-immature women have vaginal orgasms” (because many perfectly mature women don’t) or “self-respecting women don’t perform fellatio” (because so many do.)
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If we lived in a different social structure and your partner didn’t enjoy eating you I’d instantly invite you to drop on by. We’d both find it delicious.
