Posted by figleaf
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Thu, 2006-04-27 10:48
“Boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses” — Dorothy Parker.
News flash: Dateline: figleaf’s desk, April 27, 2006: Recent studies indicate that Dorothy Parker, a long-time lynchpin of the famed Algonquin Club and prominant woman of letters, though generally a meticulous writer, appears to have mis-punctuated one of her most famous quips.
Reached in the afterlife while figleaf was trying to get his #!$!!#%~ replacement TV to work with his %&Share this post:
Submitted by 731 (not verified) on Thu, 2006-04-27 12:33.
Maybe I'm missing the joke but is the statement meant to be descriptive or a command? Wouldn't that account for the punctuation differences?
[Oops! First of all as far as I know Parker really meant it as a warning to women that (she felt, anyway) women with glasses were unattractive. But since I think women in glasses are quite attractive (certainly as attractive as those without) I thought I'd recast it as sour grapes -- a command to men not to overlook her just because she *wasn't* wearing glasses. :-) Thanks, Ellie. --fl]
Submitted by 731 (not verified) on Thu, 2006-04-27 13:22.
Mmmmm Figleaf putting on his pants mmmmm.
:D
[Yup, putting 'em on. Finally. After having them off since February! :-) Thanks, AAG. --fl]
Submitted by 731 (not verified) on Thu, 2006-04-27 17:41.
Interesting to see the difference one little comma can make in a sentence. Too bad I don't have the punctuation-smarts to learn from this...
[I know enough about punctuation to understand its importance, but not enough to practice it well. Thanks, RS. --fl]
Submitted by 731 (not verified) on Thu, 2006-04-27 22:13.
How I love the quote with that properly placed comma! (As I am a girl with glasses)
[I think you meant to say you're an attractive girl with glasses, but I knew what you meant. Ok, ok, attractive woman, but you still knew what I meant. :-) Thanks, Bella. --fl]
Submitted by 731 (not verified) on Thu, 2006-04-27 22:39.
Dear Figleaf:
I was so inspired by your creativity, and that of the late Ms. Parker, that I began folding laundry wearing nothing but my eyeglasses. My husband informed me that I was making a spectacle of myself, then he promptly resumed watching the tv. Could you please channel Ms. Parker for futher advice on my behalf? Thank you.
Sincerely,
Not-What-I-Envisioned
[Hmm. How about
"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania."
To be honest I might not try to seduce my partner if she were ironing naked, instead -- boring lug that I no doubt am -- I'd assume she was late for an appointment and in a terrible hurry. If I knew for a fact she wasn't, if, for instance, she so much as wiggled her eyebrows at me, I'd pull the plug on my tv, and then the one on your iron. Thanks, Kochanie. --fl]
Submitted by 731 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-04-28 08:13.
Figleaf:
I knew you would be great at handling an advice to the lovelorn column. And one with the Parker's poetry, too! (great quote, BTW)
I am greatly comforted to know other people in America iron their clothes while stark naked because they are late for a meeting at the office. And of course, being an official Inopportune Moment, the little man in the boat starts rowing for all he's worth as the iron heats up...interesting phenomenom, which I am sure you have researched extensively.;-)
You have written some excellent posts this past week and, unfortunately, I was too swamped with work to comment intelligently. Almost like being on a strict diet while working in an ice cream parlor. Thank you.
[The problem with having a "big man in the boat" is you don't want a hot iron anywhere near that thing! :-) Thanks, Kochanie. --fl]
Submitted by 731 (not verified) on Mon, 2006-05-01 03:08.
wow, I personally find both boys and girls who wear glasses more attractive actually. It's a funny little quirk.
[Not funny at all. It's not like wearing them is better than not wearing them. More like the way both, say, jeans or skirts are attractive without being much alike. Thanks, M. --fl]
Submitted by 731 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-05-19 12:02.
Nice try.
But it wasn't a sentence. So there was no need for punctuation. The correct version, and it's called "News Item" is:
Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses
See my site for more.
[Oh go ahead and spoil my fun! I stand by my assertion that she said "men" only because "image-conscious doofuses" didn't scan. :-) Thanks, Kevin. --fl]