Little intimacies and tender gestures are what separates casual sex from the kind of stereotypical shag-in-the-cloakroom-between-sets sex I think most people have in mind when they worry about “no strings attached” sex.
The author of Unfurling: my sexuality has a great post tonight.
I went out to lunch with sexy sexy office girl, and some other people I work with. I had a chocolate cake for desert. While I was eating it, deep in conversation with sexy sexy office girl, she picked up a spare fork and started eating my cake with me.
It wasn’t presumptuous or rude. Just intimate, and I loved it. I had thought it was entirely divorced from sexuality, but at least to me, it’s not. I’ve developed an erection while recounting this story.
I’d also add that — whether you ever sleep with each other or not — things like sharing cake like that is another critical privilege of friendship, one that shouldn’t be reserved only for significant others. Drawing the friends-with-privileges line at sex kind of misses the point of friendship and privileges. (And, come to think of it, sex!)
