Holly Page of Whoopie School says something dear to my heart
Van Morrison said that girls get “dressed up for each other,” and never does that feel more real than when I get all dolled up to go out and Jason doesn’t notice. It is infinitely more baffling, though, when he finds me ravenously sexy in the morning. Maybe it’s the vulnerability or the naturalness of it all, I’m not sure. I can’t imagine that it’s the crusty eyes and disheveled hair. But whatever it is, this man finds me irresistible when I just wake up. It makes it hard to get out of bed.
I find him most sexy when he’s leaving, like when he’s going into the office for the day or heading out with friends. The moment before he walks out the door, I see him as others see him – dark messy hair, unshaven face, mischievous eyes – sexy as hell. He’s no longer the ridiculous man who didn’t empty the dishwasher; he’s mysterious and attractive. It makes it hard for him to get out the door.
The media would have you believe that there is only one way to be sexy; namely, that you have a perfect body, pouty lips, and bedroom eyes. But what we really find sexy is never as rigid as the poses in the Victoria’s Secret catalog. Sometimes silly is sexy; sometimes vulnerable is sexy; sometimes angry is sexy; sometimes messy is sexy.
If you’ve ever been desired despite (or because of) forgetting to shave, wearing sweatpants, crying all day, being sick, or whatever other unattractive thing you can think of, then you know what I mean. And I’ve learned that you don’t have to feel your sexiest to be sexy; sometimes it feels good to be wanted beyond all reason, and to give in.
I love that line “the media would have you believe that there’s only one way to be sexy…”
Seriously! Think about all those folks take the pre-dawn “walk of shame” lest their partner see them with the bed hair it might have taken his or her partner all night to create with a hundred caresses, a thousand kisses, and one… three… uncounted avalanches of sheet-twisting desire and cascades of sighs! Think of what they’re missing — what they’re denying not only themselves but their partners as well.
Submitted by 2614 (not verified) on Thu, 2009-01-08 19:45.
Thanks for highlighting this post. Definitions of sexiness are something I think about often, and find that they are far more expansive than we're led to believe. What is most interesting to me is how hard media definitions of sexiness are to unlearn, despite age, experience, and supporting relationships, to name a few factors. And there always seems to be a sneaky context in which they can creep in and takeover again, even if temporarily. Healthy discussions, such as those on your blog, are a great way to challenge them.