For their regular “wise guys” feature this week Lo of Em & Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between. asked three experts
“If guys had to choose between only intercourse or only blowjobs for the rest of their life, which do you think most guys would choose?”
It’s always easy to try and dodge either/or questions this way but her panel does a good job of sticking to the situation at hand. “Straight single guy Chris” thinks most men would pick fellatio but advises intercourse. “Married straight guy Fred” agrees. And “Gay Committed Guy Terence” intercourse for sure. Two commenters, David Perrins and Yatz say given a choice they’d pick cunnilingus. Which is outside the scope of the question but worth consideration because it brings up what I think the most important consideration would be: whichever activity one’s partner would prefer doing for the rest of her life.
Because, really, you want to have blowjobs for the rest of your life then what’s your partner going to get out of it? Or intercourse when it didn’t do much for her?
Turn it around for a minute and see what I mean: your partner gets to choose whether she’d rather have only intercourse or only cunnilingus, right? What if Perrin’s or Yatz’s partner picks intercourse? What if Chris’s or Terence’s partner picks oral? Either way their partners might be happy but Perrin, Yatz, Terence and Chris? Not as much.
And then (with the tables still turned) over time, how enthusiastic about persevering would Chris, Perrin, Terrence, or Yatz be? And how much fun, exactly, is an unenthusiastic partner? So. Turn the tables back to the original question and see if you’d come up with the same answer?
[Still very poor net connection. Things should be back to normal when I get home later this weekend. —fl]
Submitted by 2727 (not verified) on Fri, 2009-02-20 18:47.
I think for questions like this, it's okay to ignore how the decision would affect other people, because such questions are really about what someone's personal priorities would be if reality were not a factor.
Let's say, for example, the question were between poverty and great sex or extreme wealth and no sex for the rest of one's life. A granted wish of "great sex" might involve magically changing the minds of people who would never have gotten involved with you to begin with, which is morally little better than statutory rape. (That's just one way it could go depending on the person and circumstances in which the wish is granted; there are also some completely benign examples, such as merely increasing one's sexual sensitivity, or much worse ones, like allowing a psycho or extreme chauvinist to easily become a serial rapist and never get caught.) Likewise, a sudden, inexperienced billionaire could seriously screw up the local economy without meaning to, and would probably never suffer any consequences for doing so. (Actually, there are some real billionaires who have this effect, but a sudden, inexperienced one is much more likely to.)
If you're going to bring the consideration of other people (or society) into the question, then most questions of this sort shouldn't be asked at all.
[All good points, Nightfall. Let's just say I think in all those cases it would be good to get a little input from others before making even a magic-lantern choice. Thanks! --fl]