Someone posting with the alias “test” at Pandagon passes along the consensus list of social conservatives who in just the last six weeks(!) have been discovered practicing in private what they both ardently decry and, more disturbingly, actively legislating against!

First the list, then an explanation for why it’s not just gossip to repeat it.

• Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID), cruising for potty sex, somehow “mistakenly” pleads guilty.
• Diaper David Vitter (R-LA) admits he’s a “bad”, “naughty” and “nasty boy” with hookers.
• former White house spiritual advisor and fallen megachurch pastor Tweaker Ted “I’m completely heterosexual” Haggard asking whatever fans he has left for money.
• former NC Republican lawmaker and Christian Action League president, Coy C. Privette — caught at the no-tell motel with a sex worker — also guilty.
• Mark Foley is back in the news, he won’t turn over his former congressional computer to investigators.

• Rep. Bob Allen, another Republican, caught asking to blow an undercover officer and willing to pay $20 for the pleasure; currently coming up with an excuse for the day (scary black men, thunderstorms) for his same-sex appetite.

Whoever it was said it here.

On one level it all really is just gossip because nothing is changed by adding these names to the list of social-conservatives who deal from the bottom of the propriety deck maintained by Armchair Subversive. Sure, the list is long, and yes, it’s updated continuously.

But if such revelations were ever going to reverberate social conservatives out of their literally grievous double standards they would have done so long since. If they were going to shame the perpetrators they would have. If revelations were going to prompt followers and adherents to question their leaders they would have.

They haven’t.

So why bother?

I say we bother not because Larry Craig or Ted Haggard or David Vitter or Laura Schlessinger are nasty fucking, cash-in-on-the-misery-of-others examples of the banality of evil. In policy terms that’s the devil talking — leading us away from real purpose in pursuit of mere character flaws.

But from a conservative policy standpoint character flaws aren’t the problem here. The scandal is that nearly the canon conservative sexual policy is largely invented by self-defined deviants who have no fucking idea what “normal” behavior might be!!!

They pull things right straight out of their asses and try to slap those of us with actual experience of homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, transsexual or asexual normalcy in the face. And when we complain of the out-of-their-asses smell and otherwise complain of their un- or surreality they double down on proposed penalties rather than backing off. And why? Because to back off would be to admit they have no fucking clue.

Got that? The problem with Senator Craig isn’t that now and then he enjoys getting anonymous assfuckings in men’s restrooms.[*] Nor is it that he enjoys it even though he’s in a long-term marriage to a woman. The problem is that, leading such a life, he imagines he knows enough about either normal homosexuality or normal heterosexuality to competently support, let alone author, legislation regulating either.

Bottom line: public policy should not be in the hands of men and women who are trying to pass.