This is a quick followup to my previous post about when sex after marriage can be inappropriate.

In an extended post primarily about a breakup with her partner, Laura of Laura the Tooth says

5. while i love experiencing and getting to know someone through my pussy, it is not to be confused with me giving it away. i use it to experience someone, a gift i can only give myself. the idea that my pussy is some kind of gift i want to give to a lover is a laughable thought at best, a repugnant and offensive concept at its worst. my body belongs to one person—me. my experiences, my memories, my feelings—i like that there are some intimate observations of different people that will forever belong to only me. i like that i have this gallery of memories, these various sexual connections with very different people. it is a mental high that i can never give up.

In one of my first real “one-night-stand” encounters, when I was just out of high-school, this equally young woman and I had spent much of the day and evening talking, walking, and kissing. One thing led to another and I wound up eating her to a long, slow, and (since she hadn’t had many orgasms with partners) fairly hard-won orgasm. I held her for a bit while she quivered and uncurled. I was happy as an otter in clear water from the experience and she kind of blew it by getting this weird, kind of sad look on her face and said “I guess now you want to stick it in me.”

Well, I suppose up to that moment I certainly had but ewww!

It wasn’t that she didn’t have experience with sex, but it clearly hadn’t been very positive for her. In other words she was used to “giving it away” but not having it. In retrospect I think it might have been better to talk her through that and then really have sex instead of “take it” from her but I instead said I had to leave to catch a ride home. (This at the end of a vacation in an east coast shore town.)

The point is that courtship, neither a one-night stand nor a formal marriage, shouldn’t culminate with “I guess now you want to stick it in me.” Not if it’s going to be a healthy one. If one’s pussy is to be a prize at all (and I’m not sure that’s a healthy attitude in the first place) ultimately it has to be one’s own prize, not one’s partner’s.