Holly of The Pervocracy knocks another one out of the park.
Men who never get laid pontificate about how every gorgeous actress and model just isn’t thin and busty enough for them to be attracted; women who are chronically single lay out ridiculous “he should be a PhD. and have a six-pack and also blue eyes” requirements for men they’d want to date.
Not that people don’t have the right to be choosers. Don’t settle for someone who won’t make you happy because you think they’re the best you can get. And if you’re committed to waiting until Dr. Blue Eyes PhD. comes along, have fun with that. But it often seems like there’s something more going on here.
It’s partly sour grapes, of course, but it’s also preemptive sour grapes. If you are afraid to approach men or women, saying “I like girls, but the ones around here just aren’t good enough” allows you to pretend you’re not a wuss while justifying your behavior.
I try to say stuff like that but it always takes me like 1000 words and 300 typos.
p.s. I’m not sure how to link it but the cartoon “evolution” at Book of Joe doesn’t demonstrate actual evolution (biological evolution anyway) but seems particularly relevant to the “whoever I don’t think I can have is the only one for me” ideal partner.
Submitted by 3166 (not verified) on Fri, 2009-08-28 01:35.
He doesn't look like one, but Dr Ruf has a PhD. He also has a six pack (although, again, it's not immediately obvious because he's a solid guy) and hazel eyes, rather than blue. He is so not my 'usual type' but then, being with him, has caused a complete shift in the way I've always done things and Im a lot happier for it :)
If I was giving advice to anyone looking for a lover, I'd say not to restrict yourself to the stereotypical standards that you see in photographs. Meet lots of people in person and choose because of the way they make you feel when you're with them.
Submitted by 3166 (not verified) on Fri, 2009-08-28 09:10.
Getting past the conventional standards and finding what you like is, I think, always a good thing. On the other hand, it's no guarantee that the people you're interested in have modified *their* standards. (Which is why statements about how *all* folks who have trouble finding partners must have unreasonable standards can be so infuriating.)
Submitted by 3166 (not verified) on Fri, 2009-08-28 13:37.
YES. This is so right on.
Submitted by 3166 (not verified) on Sat, 2009-08-29 07:28.
I think, there is a bit of entitlement and a lot of objectification and some defensiveness in men having ¨super model¨ high standards and then also complaining that super models and famous actresses aren´t thin enough or don´t have big enough breasts.
They feel that they are entitled to any woman they want. However, they know that they would be rejected by this particular woman so they criticize her. Actually, it´s an easy way out of dealing with cognitive dissonance...