I love Susie Bright. She says the coolest things.
You’re never going to see an ad on this site that promises to “Unlock the Mysteries of the Female Orgasm in Five Easy Steps!” I hate the mystification of sexual knowledge that should be part of normal conversation.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not always easy for women to have orgasms (though TGIC does ask an interesting — and very common — question that casts the “mystery” in a different light: “For God’s sake, it takes me like 25 seconds! How can no man do this for me?”) But that’s not what Susie’s saying anyway!
Rhett Butler sweeps Scarlet O’Hara up the staircase in “Gone With the Wind” and after the cut away she’s lying in sunlight purring “What a man!” To paraphrase Pierre Bosquet “It is magnificent, but it is not sex.” Or not real, mostly. I think I’ve given roughly sixty women an orgasm with my mouth, hands, and other body parts (I was a very busy boy back when I was still a boy) but I don’t think one of those orgasms was a sure thing in the sense that I knew exactly what to do, how gently or hard, for how long, at what speed, with what motions, in what place or places, to get there. Despite all that experience if I were confident enough to sweep you up that broad flight of stairs I’d still almost certainly fumble a bit before I found the rhythms of your soft places, before you pearled to hardness under your pretty hood, before I knew from your reactions that this was good but that was wonderful, and then this led in time to after-kisses and “Now let me get you.”
Out of all those partners only a few said “touch me here and pushed my fingers to the spot.” Even fewer showed me how they did it. Fewer still discussed it with me before or after.
My guess? In the time spanned by that cut away, I think Rhett Butler put her hand in his and said “show me.” I think Scarlett said “Most men try to dig under the hood but that’s too intense.” I think Rhett asked “what works best for you.” I think Scarelett said “your fingers are distracting unless I’m almost there.” I think Rhett said “do you mind if I tease you when you’re close or would you prefer I find your rhythm and stay there till you come?” In other words, I think they left mystery at the foot of the stairs…
... and had a normal conversation some time before morning.
Update: I want to clarify that I’m not knocking the romance and/or emotional connections in the relationship. The staircase-sweep in that movie embodies one the transcendent archetypes of romantic bonding! I’m just saying that true romance includes, and is not lessened by, normal conversations about the ways we are and what we wish. Finally, when I say “normal” conversation I mean precisely that, as something that occurs in the normal course of a relationship rather than clinical interruptions, pre-coital negotiations, or post-coital debriefings.
