Early last summer during the big blowjob flareup I dinged a Dan Savage column where Savage advised a reader who’s partner wasn’t into eating him to…
Dump her… Sucking cock can no longer be regarded as some sort of above-and-beyond-the-call indulgence. Blowjobs are standard. Any make or model that doesn’t come with blowjobs should be immediately returned to the showroom.
Well, this afternoon an alert reader, Chris Goodwin, pointed out that the very next entry in the same column had identical advice for a woman who’s partner wasn’t cunnilingus her.
Dump him… Eating pussy can no longer be regarded as some sort of above-and-beyond-the-call indulgence. Cunnilingus is standard. Any make or model that doesn’t come with cunnilingus should be immediately returned to the showroom.
I feel like a nitwit for failing to notice the second column the first time around. However, while I admire Savage’s egalitarianism (I really do) I’m going to stand by the main point of my post that “mandatory” and “sex” rarely play well together. I happen to think that anyone who doesn’t enjoy performing cunnilingus is missing a treat, and no doubt others feel the same way about giving blowjobs. But those would be our opinions. “Opinion” and “obligation” are very different words.
(I think one of the more pernicious ideas in sex these days is the dumb idea of eating your partner with the expectation that they’ll be obliged to reciprocate. My strong personal feelings? If you like to eat your partner just eat your partner. If you don’t then please don’t. )
Submitted by 1227 (not verified) on Sun, 2007-02-25 20:17.
I don't agree with his phrasing, exactly, but I agree with the premise. I like both giving and receiving oral sex. If I meet someone who doesn't reciprocate, they're cut loose awfully quickly. Nobody HAS to do anything, of course, but that means I don't have to date them, either.
[Yup. It's a problem to say someone's out of line for not being into it. But it's also fine to say you're fine with it if it becomes a matter of compatibility. You just can't make it a rule for everybody, which Savage sort of does. Thanks, WG. --fl]