AlwaysArousedGirl has a wistfully lovely post about pounding sex you ought to take a look at.
You know what I mean, don’t you? The kind where bodies are slammed together, balls knock against the clit, the bed scoots across the floor and everyone wakes up sore the next day.
Of course that’s not the only great way to be together, but it ranks right up there for me.
...
Do you like The Hard Fuck? Men, how hard do you go? Women, how hard to you like your partner to go?
I’ve always been much more of a grinder than a pounder. I learned about grinding from, I dunno, Masters & Johnson or Alex Comfort or someone else in the pre-G-spot days who said it was a good way to make solid contact with her clitoris. And it is! Plus it’s wonderful for face-to-face positions.
I also had an issue with pounding from rear-entry positions because those little corrugations right over your g-spot rub right over my cock’s hot spot and it used to get me off in seconds if I didn’t stop over and over.
Since then I’ve learned a couple of important things that make pounding a whole lot more fun and a lot more interesting: – It’s ok to stop or hold still while I recover I’m about to come, especially if I tell her why. Ten seconds isn’t that long a pause and once I get over that initial buzz I can bump drums like the Eveready bunny. – It’s important to have, or use, enough lubrication. Pounding sex is about a whole-body experience than straight clitoral or penile contact, and with enough lube it’s easier to focus on motion than friction (and sometimes abrasion — yikes! — when your partner’s ready but not lubricating a lot yet.) – You have to talk about back problems. There are good positions for almost any back problem but you gotta talk about them before anybody starts pounding anywhere.
Incidentally back in the day I also used to get self-conscious about my (back then) very flat, muscular abdomen slapping hard against a partner’s ass. I’d worry it felt like spanking. Doh! Not that anyone but old-style BDSM subs acknowledged enjoying spanking back then. These days it’s not just subs who enjoy spanking.
So here’s a question of my own since I’m a relative newbie when it comes to hard-contact sex: Do you think there’s a sensory connection between enjoying your partner pounding against you and enjoying spanking?
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Thu, 2006-02-23 23:38.
Yes. I think there's a correlation. I like being spanked. I like skin-slapping sex. It's... Being spanked is short and sharp (no matter how LONG you're spanked, the action is relatively qick). Skin-slapping sex is also short and sharp, but it's has some OOMPH behind it. There's pressure there that isn't around with just a spanking.
[Oh yeah, not to mention a lot more physical connection. (All my spanking fantasies involve skin-to-skin contact as well.) Thanks, DN! --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 01:04.
Answer to your question -- there definitely is a connection. The Taken in Hand site has a post entitled "Hitting the Spot(s)" http://www.takeninhand.com/node/1178 which refers to certain acupressure points on the buttocks. These pressure points would be the same targets for spanking as well as for pounding on the back door. So I think the connection is physiologically based.
Now I have a question: as the count down to zero is approached in your shower picture sequence, is it your intention to display your namesake (the proverbial figleaf) in a strategic zone? You must be aware that this sort of coy tease could make some of your readers irate, if not downright vengeful. Perhaps you are counting on that reaction, FG. Time to fess up -- did you go through all this trouble just to get a spanking?
Kochanie
[No non-metaphorical figleaves, Kochanie, though at some point I may back down a little it won't be much at all. Thanks for the tip on the accupuncture points theory, by the way. Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 02:46.
How on earth can balls hit against a clitoris? Is there a position I've not heard of? Some contortionists could perhaps manage that one or even those of us who have different positioning of their sex organs? lol...but personally speaking when the penis is in my vagina, the balls are hitting at the point just below my vagina (i.e. the start of my arse!).
:S
[I never know whether to take you seriously, Dewdrop. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 05:24.
Fig,
Yes. Absolutely. Of course.
Hard, pounding intercourse and spanking are, at least in my mind, inextricably connected.
Then again, I might be slightly more enthusiastic than most about that whole spanking business. :D
[You may be more enthusiastic than most, Bonnie, but enthusiasm usually brings experience and insight too. Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 06:38.
ummm...I'd have to say it depends upon why the person derives pleasure from spanking.
If it is a pure physical delight - they simply enjoy the sting - then I could see the correlation. If, however, they are like me and get off on the pure aspects of being dominanted, in a mental and spiritual fashion as well as physical, then I'm not sure I see any correlation at all.
I'm a HUGE fan of serious spankings (and I mean serious...) but since practicing Tantra I'm not much on pounding anymore. When a man pounds away at you like a wild animal it is very difficult for either partner to channel their chi.
So in short, for me personally (as a Tantrica and "spiritual submissive") there is no connection but I can certainly see the connection for other people.
Rey
[Good points, Rey. I appreciate your perspective. Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 08:10.
Spanking fantasies...I have plenty of those. Have never realized any of them, though ... sigh ...
To me, though, I think the hard pounding sex has less to do with any correlation with spanking, and more to do with the wildness in the soul. You're beyond taking care, past the point of civilization. It's hot and wild and frantic and steamy and wonderful. And it's not just the man pounding away, getting his. It's more ...
"Then came the night, warm and dark, dragging it's chains across our hearts. The moon was full, the grass was wet, making us scream, making us sweat, making us cling, making us claw, making us rise, making us fall, breath on breath, skin on skin ... "
Yeah, that's it ...
[Cool points and a nice quote, Rhia! Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 08:16.
well, at times the hard fuck is about being held captive a bit and the same can be said for spanking if your hands are being held back or legs tied or held down. I like that sometimes. Though, I guess different people enjoy different elements of the same act. ;)
[Yup. Kochanie mentioned a couple of accupuncture points in the vicinity but I don't think anyone's saying "well, just needle me there and we're done." Or if there were one might say they'd reduced the whole thing to its essence... but then it would be like slurping a vitamin supplement instead of dining with friends. There's more than one element in any act and you're right, there are myriad ways to enjoy them. Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 09:34.
Looks like everyone about nailed it - to each their own. Now really, I have no business reading this blog first thing and on my way to somewere that thinking about hard fucks probably shouldn't be written all over my facial expression ... but happy Friday to you too :)
[In my total-doormat phase (roughly from 1966-2002) I'd have apologized profusely... for your having read my post this morning instead of last night. Not sure why but I'd have a) felt responsible and b) assumed you weren't happy about it. Instead I'll say I'm glad you enjoyed the distraction! :-) Thanks so much, Katy. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 10:15.
I love a good, hard, pounding fuck (not every time, of course - gotta mix it up) but spanking has always seemed kind of silly. Just one girl's opinion.
[I used to say the same thing but there are so many different takes on spanking (everything from pure sensation to pure submission to pure transgression that I don't think there's a single way to look at it anymore. Silly's only one dimension. On the other hand multiple dimensions also means multiple reasons to say no thanks, and (as the old business aphorists always say) you only ever need one. It certainly doesn't have to be for everyone. Thanks, Amber. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 17:01.
I am a huuuge fan of the pounding, HUGE. Love it. Also love to be spanked. He/we are not very good at getting into a good rythm with grinding for some reason. Anywhere you might direct me for some practical tips, seriousl? It is something we should do more but i don't know how to make it work better.
[Hey Lydia. Bonnie at My bottom smarts has some good beginner information and links to other good sites. I think she'd be a good place to start. Good luck. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 17:22.
I love being fuckpounded, though it doesn't make me come. It gets me very excited, but more in a subspace kind of way. And it completely depends on the man--really, I love being pounded by my boyfriend, and only once he's crossed the line to boyfriend from...whatever.
Spanking's just good, clean fun.
[And some people go the other way, thinking a good cowboy fucking is good clean fun but spanking is intensely personal. It's cool how one person's ultimate intimate act can be someone else's good clean fun and vice versa. Thanks, ChelseaGirl! --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 17:52.
When I am turned on, what would normally be a little pain, isn't. I think that's true for many people, endorphins and such.
I experience a synergistic effect from adding roughness to sex. Hair pull, shoulder bite, spanking, hard pounding, it doesn't just double the fun, it multiplies it.
The difference might be that for some people, spanking can be foreplay, building arousal, whereas a good pounding should wait until you're really turned on.
[Nice way to look at it, Tina. Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 18:51.
Really hard fucking is such a turn on because there's that whole "I can't wait to have you, must take you now" kind of thing going on. I enjoy spanking as well when tossed in with a few hard thrusts...not sure if there is actually a correlation there but it sure is nice.
(btw, thanks for visiting me and leaving a comment!)
[Thanks, April. It was fun running across your blog. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 19:45.
i dont do the spanking thing...
but the hard fucking, i love...
and the pants slipping...damn...would have loved to be there... *sigh*
peace...
[Thanks, Monkey. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Fri, 2006-02-24 22:26.
I've thought about these things alot over the last year or so. I enjoy both so much that I don't think I can explain it properly. I'm still learning what works for me, but I knew early one that I liked little bites, especially along the neck and shoulders. It varies the stimulation and surprises really increase my arousal. He slapped me playfully on the ass a couple times and I kinda liked it. So he did it a bit more for my enjoyment, but then started to get into it himself, and then it turned me on more to know that he was liking it and it just kinda snowballed that way.
It's mostly the varied stimuli thing, but it's also exciting for me to get to see a side of him that he usually mutes around me. For him to be able to let go a bit, knowing that I won't break, or think he's a beast, that's part of it too. He's even starting to show a little initiative. The first time he tugged on my hair I thought I would come on the spot. Not just from the physical sensation, but because he was making it very clear what he wanted.
The hard fuck is a welcome part of the repetoire. Not for every time, but there is something about being taken roughly from behind. And when he stops for a second, all the way in, and just holds there, there is this delicious pressure feeling that I can't explain except that I know I want more. Add a little spanking and I am a quivering wreck.
Thinking about this, and looking at that picture, has made me a little weak kneed already.
[Thanks for the great explanation, KT. It's helpful. Also, erm, stirring! --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Sat, 2006-02-25 00:50.
There may be a connection with pounding and spanking... but.... I like pounding, I like slamming, I like the slapping and friction and fucking. I don't like spanking though. Call me strange, but spanking is not pleasant to me, it turns me off more than on.
[You are so not strange to feel that way, Bella. To feel obliged to enjoy spanking because "everybody does it" would be as unfortunate as someone else worrying about enjoying it because "nobody else does." I think pressure to conform is a big libido killer. Thanks for bringing it up. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Mon, 2006-02-27 07:10.
i don't know.....
[Thanks, Needra. --fl]
Submitted by 630 (not verified) on Mon, 2006-02-27 23:38.
Oh yes, the pounding, hard fuck is sooo nice... Dosen't have to be all the time, but sometimes at the end of the night, the feel of his balls slapping against my cheeks (made red from spanking) will just send me... I start growling like an animal and lose all rational thought. I also love the "stop for a minute trick", as it usually sends me into total orgasm.
Sigh... your blog always seems to bring on the nice memories.
[Oh I think it's just so cool that you like the "stop for a minute" trick. I never even thought of it as a trick before, but it only took me too seconds to realize it would totally, totally turn me on if someone said it to me. So why wouldn't it turn on someone else! Thanks! Kitty that's wonderful. --fl]