Ok, another question after randomly browsing recently uploaded clips on YouTube knockoff YouPorn.com.
So there you are enjoying anal sex and then just before you (according to the script anyway) and your partner have orgasms he abruptly pulls out, scurries around, and sticks his cock in your mouth and (with some degree of effort or other) proceeds to ejaculate. So… hot or not?
Call me a libertine prude here (why not, I do) but… I just don’t see that many people heading out to a club in the evening saying “gee, I hope I meet some nice guy who’s into ass-to-mouth!”
If I’m just being totally old-fashioned here let me know in comments, m’kay?
—-
Part two of this, by the way, is that based on personal experience men just have to be doing this sort of stuff because they think their partners want them to. Because, as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, when you’re a man concentrating on his own enjoyment the least satisfying thing you can possibly do is withdraw from your warm, wet partner just before ejaculation.
Seriously, as Wikipedia dryly puts it in it’s entry on coitus interruptus as method of contraception
The method may be difficult for some couples to use. The interruption of intercourse may leave some couples sexually frustrated or unsatisfied.
So… again, hot or not?
—-
Yeah, yeah, they do it in porn so if porn is all that passes for sex education for millions of impressionable young women and men then maybe that’s how they expect it to go. But as I’ve also mentioned elsewhere, I’m pretty sure the “money shot” in porn arises as much out of expediency and the relative status of male vs. female performers in the porn industry.
In terms of expediency, semen is surprisingly sticky and therefore way easier to wipe off of the body than to lave out. And since virtually all industrial porn is a) highly bodily-fluid averse and b) tightly scheduled because producers are ridiculously parsimonious, the quicker the cleanup the better as far as commercial guys are concerned.
Don’t get me wrong here, I totally understand that industrial pornographers are under no obligation to be even remotely realistic, let alone educational. And since they exist mainly to facilitate (mostly) male masturbation it even makes sense that every single fucking sex scene in industrial porn seems to end with the actors stopping all the action so the man of the moment can masturbate to ejaculation.
But in terms of actual male orgasmic enjoyment it’s an absolute buzz kill.
So, final time, in your personal experience and not just as an abstract viewer: ass to mouth ejaculation — hot or not?
‘Cause if it’s not hot for you then we men would probably enjoy ourselves far more if we didn’t do that.
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Fri, 2007-08-31 15:26.
Amber,
I said what I MEANT TO SAY. I don't know where your response came from. Personally I don't care what you do, but I think that because someone has not become sick doesn't mean the there does not exist strains that would cause death. Garden variety ecoli can cause urinary tract infections which can cause kidney and bladder problems in normal healthy women. Is ass to vagina safe too? I didn't make the comment in order to moralize. I think the science of the disease is worth considering on how you might proceed.
Figleaf,
I can't see how hygiene would affect this. Ecoli is naturally occurring in the intestines. The lining, which protects the rest of the body.
[Ok, let's take a quick break and, for instance, check out Analingus: The Curious Lovers' Guide to Oral-Anal Contact from MyPleasure.com. One interesting upshot is that when it comes to the standard concerns (specific variations of e. coli for instance) the longer one has been with a partner the greater the odds you've already been exposed to (and adapted to) their intestinal flora and fauna (and they to yours) through ordinary hand-to-hand exchange. In that case then the two *main* things to worry about are bacterial load -- which can be mitigated by showering and enemas -- and inoculation *outside* the G-I tract. Back before HIV I remember a gay friend saying his gay uncles told him to be wary of deep fellatio after anal sex because while people can often handle *swallowing* quite a bit of fecal bacteria it can be trouble if you aspirate it into your lungs, and that, evidently, can be dangerous even for long-term partners. So bottom line yes, even garden-variety e. coli ingestion *can* be problematic but also yes, hygiene really can mitigate a lot of that risk. If that's what you want to do -- which describes some, but not all sexually adventurous types. Thanks, Five. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Thu, 2007-08-30 21:33.
#1 - in theory (as it's never happened in practice) no. it sounds extremely unhygienic. vagina to mouth not so unhygienic, but appealing to me in theory (again, it's never happened in practice).
granted, i find anal sex in practice to be unappealing and not personally safe because of my medical history. but if it weren't my medical history, i'd probably agree with it if it was that pleasurable for the guy, assuming that he'd do something similar in return for me .
[Yup. Just not sure what that would be. (But I'd be open to suggestion.) Thanks, Kermit. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Fri, 2007-08-31 00:30.
You've just put me off my breakfast!
[It's not *my* fault you live in the wrong time-zone, A. :-) Actually, sorry about that. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Thu, 2007-08-30 20:38.
You must be leaving something out. Isn't that dangerous?
[I dunno, Five. *I* think it's dangerous. Also smelly and gross unless everyone's really clean. But objectively? If you're sure no one has communicable GI-tract diseases and you're otherwise not immune compromised then it's not *that* much nastier than swimming on a lot of public beaches. It doesn't have to be unsafe, though, not to be everyone's cup of tea. (Not to diminish it for people who are affirmatively and not just passively consenting to it.) Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Thu, 2007-08-30 20:27.
"What I'd do for a partner and what I'd do for myself aren't always the same."
And, too, I think there's a big difference between doing something that you *know* your partner likes, and doing something that you *assume* your partner likes (as you mentioned in the original post).
[Oh yeah. While I'm sure you might enjoy it, and so might your partner, and I'm pretty sure you know what you need to do to keep it safe. But I'm thinking there are probably way lots of women lamenting their e.coli respiratory infections while their partners lament cold-comfort orgasm because each asumed that's how their partner wanted it. Y.I.K.E.S! Thanks, Amber. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Thu, 2007-08-30 20:35.
I hate to say it but this whole ass-to-mouth debate reminds me of Clerks 2 where they have essentially the same debate with the one man, Dante, saying it is not hot and the other, Randall, saying it is porn so it must be hot. Finally, Rosario Dawson's character, says she finds it kind of hot, if I remember correctly. Just what I thought of when I saw this post.
[Yeah, I just read about that scene a few minutes ago. Sounds marvelously cynical, which is, of course, perfect for Clerks. Thanks, BR. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Thu, 2007-08-30 18:00.
I think this one (#1) is more of a mental type of stimulation... a turn on because of the embedded power play or just the act itself... because you do see that kind of stuff in porn. :) Does it turn me on? No, not separately from the act of sex itself anyway. Him? I guess so... just as something different to do though. Gotta maintain the variety in sex and sometimes, you just feel like being a porn star in the bedroom. It's fun, it's an act, it's different.
That's my take on the topic! ;)
xoxo
Tara
[Good to know, Tara. Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Thu, 2007-08-30 16:42.
Question 1 is VERY not hot. It approaches EWW and not in a good way.
2 can be hot.
[Thanks, DN. As I said in the post, if it's hot for you then it might be worth it for him. Otherwise I wouldn't think so. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Thu, 2007-08-30 17:27.
Well, I'm into ass to mouth. I don't know how common it is, but I don't particularly care.
(Also, I'm trying to close your errant italic tag, we'll see if it works.)
[And like I say, if *you* enjoy doing it that's different. What I'd do for a partner and what I'd do for myself aren't always the same. Also thanks for patching the tag. I've corrected the typo in the main post. Thanks again, Amber. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Fri, 2007-08-31 17:20.
It is unusual and that's why it's hot... There is a power exchange... and this is hot too... and all that only if it turns you on... if you are challenged or not by trangressing the taboo or not...
It happened in our couple... and will happen again, I'm sure of that... I wouldn't have take the risk with an unknown partner, and the first reason would be the trust, the safety and why should I go in that with someone I don't give a 'shit' about???
I surely see a sound of judgement too in some comments... just think that ass fucking is already risky... since when E coli is more dangerous than HIV?
There is still a lot of taboos about some body fluids exchange... not without reasons... but it is always better to be aware of the real reasons some prefer not going in it...
["it is always better to be aware of the real reasons some prefer not going in it... " Very true, SeaRabbit. Homophobia, germophobia, and "non-reproductive-sex-ophobia" all contribute to the taboo. "why should I go in that with someone I don't give a 'shit' about???" That's going more in the direction *I'm* concerned about -- that if it's *represented* as something guys can just throw at their next hookup without prior discussion. I totally get that it can be hot, especially in the context of power-gradient play, and wouldn't want to take that away from anyone who enjoys it. (I *love* it and miss it a *great* deal!) *But!* My concern is it's presented not as a boundary thing but a *routine* thing which, when you think about it, kind of vitates the boundary question and brings it all back to a question of "do you like the flavor." (Hope that makes sense.) Thanks, SeaRabbit. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Fri, 2007-08-31 06:04.
I was thinking of the ordinary garden variety of e-coli, which can be deadly, although necessary for complete digestion. Since I guess people have survived, I thought a condom would have been on initially.
[I was talking about plain-old e-coli too -- it's not *certain* to make you sick, and if it does it's usually just vomiting or diarrhea, but some people can become very ill. Thanks, Five. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Fri, 2007-08-31 09:08.
Five of Nine,
I don't know... I'm a little wary of arguments like that, because it sounds too much like the kind of headdesk-inducing "debates" I've had where people were basically saying, "Men only like anal sex because of porn! Women only *say* they like anal sex because they think they should, because of porn!"
Riiiiiight. Porn invented anal sex.
Never mind the heteronormativity there, but also...
I hate to break it to people, but y'know, I was fantasizing about it before I'd ever seen any porn or had a clue that anal sex was in porn. And I was doing it before I'd ever seen it in porn, too.
[As I've discussed elsewhere in person and online my issue isn't *that* practice X appears in porn, or even particularly that it's disproportionately represented in porn, it's that it's *incorrectly* and/or *dangerously* represented in porn. Perhaps a useful analogy would be driving styles in car commercials or cop shows -- the difference being that unlike comparable practices in porn, virtually everyone has comprehensive drivers's education such that they don't try, say, power-skidding into shopping-center parking spaces. (*Don't* ask how I know this could happen!) Anyway, while I completely agree that anal sex is unnecessarily demonized *and* mystified, I still think that relying on the default reference information available to most people results in dangerous and (far more to the point) dissatisfying experiences.
Oh, and one last thing, we need to be cautious about our interest levels vs. other's. For instance your early and innate affinity to assplay, as with my similarly early affinity to bondage, almost certainly prepared us for much more methodical self-introductions. Frequent reports from people who just just try these things willy-nilly, *especially* with equally unprepared partners (top or bottom) suggest a) less enjoyable results with unfortunately lead to b) blanket condemnation. Hope that makes sense, Amber. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Fri, 2007-08-31 17:07.
Wow, FoN... thanks for assuming I don't know the health risks involved. And nowhere did I deny that there are not strains of e.coli that can make people very ill... I didn't even address e.coli in my comments, actually, so perhaps you are thinking of someone else's comment.
I think I'll step out of this discussion now, because I don't see the judgmentalism stopping anytime soon.
[I agree a break would be in order on all our parts. My read is that *I'm* the one who's judgmental (though not about anything you're doing), Five was concerned about particular risks she wasn't familair with, and you've felt singled out based in part on reactions you've been subjected to elsewhere but, I ardently hope, not here. So break? Please lets -- besides there are new posts up, and others in the pipeline that I'd love everyone's input on. Thank you, Amber. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Fri, 2007-08-31 20:18.
Figleaf,
The link in your reply to me, doesn't work.
Sometimes our intellect takes us outside our ability to adapt.
[...which is why it's great to get feedback from others. (I've fixed that link.) Thank you, Five. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Thu, 2007-08-30 21:02.
Not hot. Too controlled. What I like to see when an man orgasms is loss of control, and that isn't generally compatible with pulling out and doing anything, whether ass to mouth or something less transgressive.
["Too controlled." Yeah, there's that too. In fact that's almost perfect, E! I like reducing my partners to quivering masses when it's their turn. I assume they enjoy incapacitating me the same way. Love that point. Thanks. --fl]
Submitted by 1581 (not verified) on Fri, 2007-08-31 09:10.
"I dunno, Five. *I* think it's dangerous. Also smelly and gross unless everyone's really clean."
I admit... I'm trying not to find that offensive.
If it's not your cup of tea, fine. No big deal; no one should do anything they don't want to do!
But I do sense some judgment there. Am I reading too much into it?
[Oh I can be totally judgmental about *my own* experience of ass or ass-to-mouth play... *without* being critical of it either as a concept or as practiced by particular individuals. On the other hand I can *also* be totally judgmental about the way it's modeled to others who may not have had a) sufficient prior interest to b) learn how to do it hygenically and/or non-injuriously without being critical, again, of it either as a concept or as practiced by particular individuals. So anyway, I'm not trying to offend, not at all at all. Again, I hope that makes sense. Thanks, Amber. --fl]
[Ooh, ooh. Or, to put it another way, just because I think one can *become* sick if they're not careful doesn't mean I think someone *is sick* to want to do so. --fl]