
Photo by Flickr user exakta. Used under a Creative Commons license.
Emily Anthes of Slate Magazine’s “Medical Examiner” column says
Sex and the City, which, as it’s hard not to know by now, comes to the big screen this weekend, rarely ventured beyond the island of Manhattan in its six years on television. When the women did find themselves elsewhere, they weren’t usually happy about it. This was especially the case in Season 4, when Carrie’s boyfriend, Aidan, hamstrings her into a trek to his rustic cabin upstate. Carrie, in turn, pressures Samantha into tagging along, and urban-misfit misadventures ensueâ€â€until Samantha spots a hunky, half-naked farmer and seduces him out of his overalls. And thus the show discovers what researchers have been documenting over the last decade or more: It’s the country, rather than the city, where more of the sex is.
Anthes goes on to list a range of reasons why out-lying kids tend to wind up having more, earlier, and less safety-aware sex and drug-related activities. I’d like to point out what was, in my experience, a very big reason: very often the parents who move out to the suburbs or exurbs to “get away from the danger of the city” nevertheless commute to the city, leaving their, especially teenaged, children unattended for very long periods between when school gets out and the parents (finally) get home.
It’s certainly the case that when I was a teenager with a motorcycle I spent a lot of 1970s after-high-school afternoons visiting friends who lived out in the county for sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll. Oh, and alcohol too. Depending on circumstances parents sometimes weren’t home till suppertime. That was (almost) always long enough to come down, sober up, and/or get dressed without raising suspicions.
Thirty years later and on the other side of the country a good friend’s niece died while she and her methed-up friends were rat-racing back from some kind of party even further out in the Seattle exurbs and drove the car they were in under the wheels of a logging truck. The irony, of course, was that her parents never let her go “into that Seattle” for fear of all the immorality and violence!
Again, I’m not saying Anthes other reasons aren’t valid, in fact they’re great. I’m just saying the list is incomplete without accounting for a) early high-school release times and b) extended commutes by custodial adults.




Submitted by 2192 (not verified) on Fri, 2008-05-30 18:06.
Not that this really contributes to anything you said, but when I was a teenager I lived in the suburbs with just my mother. You might think this would be a recipe for "getting into trouble", but my mother also worked in the suburbs, and got home about the same time I did. Not only that, but since she has always had problems with low energy and hypersensitivity to stress, spent most of the afternoon resting and demanded that the house be spotlessly clean and the laundry done and a home-cooked meal be ready for her by the time she gets up and about, etc. I never had time for any real social life at all and was too tired myself from all that (including homework) to sneak out at night - not that I had any idea where to sneak out *to* anyway.
So... that's a good way to keep kids out of trouble. It's also a good way to make them hate you and eventually run away. Fortunately, I had other relatives within reachable distance who would take me in for a few days whenever it reached the point where I couldn't stand it anymore, so I never ended up on the streets.
[A good way to *train* kids and *isolate* them from trouble but not necessarily to *raise* them. As, as happened to you, they run away and it's hard to maintain authentic ties in adulthood. Thanks, Nighfall. --fl]
Submitted by 2192 (not verified) on Sat, 2008-05-31 13:18.
I lived in the 'burbs, but had a stay-at-home mom. It really was a deterrent to afterschool escapades such as you describe.
I think another thing that contributes to higher sex and drug experiences in the country is that often there is nothing else to do. When you've been to the restaurant in town, saw the one movie at the theatre, and have played enough Apples to Apples to turn you off of fruits of all kinds for life, sex and alcohol use become the only things left to do.
When I lived in small town for my first job out of law school (it took 1.5 hours to drive to the closest 4-lane highway; it was 3 hours to the closest Wal-Mart!!), it was similar for adults. Though the movie theatre had 2 screens, it was easy to run out of options that didn't involve drinking and sex.
[That was my experience in high-school as well. Even in my almost-in-town suburb. And as I said, once I had transportation to others my age who were even more isolated it was... well, easy to involve drinking and sex. One big difference, though, between then and now is that believe it or not there was probably better sex ed and definitely more access to reliable contraception! Thanks, Bunny. --fl]
Submitted by 2192 (not verified) on Sat, 2008-05-31 23:37.
We brought up our two sons deep in the heart of the countryside until the older one was 15/16. Then we moved to Paris and life was never the same again, for our sons or for us as parents :)
[But is that a good thing or a bad one? :-) I'm guessing good.) Thanks, A. --fl]