I’ve mentioned this in passing before but this time I want to be direct about it. Shaving your throat, chin, cheeks, and lips is both trickier and more painful than shaving your pubic hair. Large, flat, smooth expanses where hair grows in one direction — areas such as the cheeks — is pretty easy. The throat, which is convex, the hair grows in many directions, and there are lot of nerves (we all like to be kissed there, right?) is harder even if your beard doesn’t reach the prominence of your larynx. The rounded surfaces of your chin, where the hair also gets pretty thick, is just plain hard and even if you’ve softened the hair up enough for it not to pull as you go it’s still easy to nick yourself. And just above the upper lip and just below the lower are rich with nerves and the hair there is particularly coarse.
Pubic hair, by comparison, isn’t a walk in the park either but, by comparison, it’s still easier to shave. One big benefit is that it’s easier to immerse the area in warm or hot water long enough to really soften the hair. Without a snorkel it’s just difficult to soak your face that way. And compared to the face there are way fewer sharp angles or just-under-the-surface bones. The hair in the main part of the pubic mound is about as thick as the hair on the margins of the chin and the upper lip of the face.
Perhaps because I was very familiar with shaving my chin, I didn’t have any more problem with irritated or inflamed public-hair follicles than I’ve had when shaving my face for the first time after wearing a beard for an extended period of time. (The one time I tried shaving my armpits, a few years ago I wound up with extensive razor burn, which suggests that armpits are far more sensitive than either faces or genitals.)
I don’t mind shaving my face, actually, because my bare skin is subject to a wider variety of tactile sensations than when I have a beard and mustache. It’s also more hygenic because it’s easier to keep clean.
Product brand names and trademarks indicate that shaving for men is more established and has a longer tradition for men than women.
I know very, very little about waxing but I’m willing to consider the experiment, assuming I can find someone willing to do my face. Most waxers won’t, in part because they say waxing facial hair is particularly painful compared to waxing pubic hair. In particular there’s a much higher chance of follicular bleeding. (Which, by the way, suggests why shaving faces isn’t that pleasant either.)
Most of my partners have a) preferred that I not have a beard and b) strongly preferred that I be freshly shaven and completely stubble free before they’ll give me more than a peck on the lips. I’ve never asked a partner shave, let alone required her to before I’d kiss her. I have asked some of my partners to trim their pubic hair because it tickles my face and, especially, gives me a maddening runny nose when it brushes up into my nostrils.
Bottom line: all discussion of the social phenomenon of pubic hair removal need to be conducted with the corresponding phenomenon of facial hair removal. Although the two are almost never discussed in the same conversation they’re actually very, very closely linked.
I know I have a fair number of male readers. I don’t know how many of you shave both your facial and pubic hair. For those of you who’ve tried both I’m curious how your experience compares to mine.
Final notes: Even without hair adult genitals don’t look anything like children’s and thus, even without hair, don’t look the least bit “pre-pubescent.” Even though it’s less comfortable I’m continuing to shave my face but not my pubic hair.
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 05:26.
I come from a black Irish/Italian background...I probably have more facial hair than most men.
I have both my pubic area and upper lip professionally waxed.
Give me a bikini wax any day. That upper lip wax makes me cry everytime!!
[Doh! What I get for assuming it's only one gender. Again. Thanks, Madame. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 05:50.
I've shaved my pubic hair exactly once and I don't think I'll ever do it again. First, it was hard! Second, despite what you say I did feel pre-pubescent. Finally, it didn't last long enough for all the work involved.
[Yeah, same with shaving your face. That first time's a killer! And yeah, it grows surprisingly fast. I can get away with every other day (unless I'm kissing someone) but most people have to do it daily. *Some* people have to shave twice (by five o'clock.) Thanks, Chick. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 06:24.
as for men's facial hair i prefer a smooth face or a groomed beard. it's the stubble that kills me. a beard is generally soft enough not to be terribly scratchy but the stubble is just agony on the tender bits.
i deal with my upper lip, underarms, legs, and pubic hair. the thing about triming or shaving pubic hair if you're a woman are the contortions necessary to do it yourself. i'm just too cheap to pay for it. of course if your partner is into helping you 'groom'.....
[Some people get a big kick out of stubbly men and there are probably others who like stubbly women. It even irritates my skin when I brush my chin against my shoulder or something so I try to be pretty consciencious about it with others. As for contortions, yeah, they're even necessary to do your face and heaven help you if you don't have a (no fog) mirror! I've helped people shave their legs before but haven't ever had someone offer to shave my face. I was already a little sedated at the time but it felt marvelous when someone shaved me before my vasectomy reversal. Thanks, Lime. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 06:54.
Figleaf,
I get thehair on my upper lip, underarms and bikini area completely waxed when they need it.
I love a clean shaven man, both for kissing his face -- and for giving him head, because it is truly lovely to lavish attention on your lover's testicles when they are hair-free and even more sensitive because of it !
For a woman -- or MAYBE a man's face....
The secret to effective waxing -- and you have to find an esthetician who SPECIALIZES in it, if you want to get it done right/fing someone really really good -- is to only have very tiny strips taken off at any one time, and a new cloth used with each removal as well..
Some waxers want to 'cut corners' and save money and time. They do too large of an area, or don't change cloth strips frequently.
This is what causes the pain and the bleeding.
Then you need to make sure that the esthetician will 1) clean off all the wax residue with a cold washcloth after she is completely finished,
2) use a little hydrocrtizone cream after that, and
3)Only use unscented products/lotions/soaps within the first 24 hours, and you won't be red/irritated.
Good luck and enjoy !
Sincerely,
Anne Elizabeth
[And I hear there's something about knowing how to stretch the skin just right too? Thanks for the tips, A! --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 08:43.
"Even without hair adult genitals don't look anything like children's and thus, even without hair, don't look the least bit 'pre-pubescent'."
YES! Finally someone just came right out and said it! Just because you're shaving off a little of your "secondary sex characteristics" doesn't mean you return your genitals to a pre-pubescent state! Your junk changes when you go through puberty too!
Thank you Figs, you are awesome!
[Thank you too, Shay. I've always thought the "pre-pubescent" thing was sort of a red herring. I mean my face doesn't look pre-pubescent even though I shave my beard... which is just *one* reason I think you can't intelligently discuss the politics or sociology of shaving without taking it into consideration. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 12:37.
Hrm.
Shaving makes one itch.
Until it's as socially acceptable to scratch your crotch in public, as it is to scratch your chin, the face/pubic connection effectively doesn't work for comparison in this house.
[Point taken about scratching though in my experience no matter where you shave it only itches if you let it grow back -- usually around three to four days in. Worse, with pubic hair around day five it starts to seriously prickle the insides of your legs. Consequently I think doing it once or only sporadically gives you the worst of both worlds no matter where you shave. It's least comfortable the first time you do it, and then you almost immediately have to put up with itching and then prickles. Better to leave it on or keep it off. And (since I'm not sure I was clear about it in my post) choosing either way is and ought to be a totally fine, totally personal choice. Thanks, Veronica. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 13:19.
Shay, LOL on calling it "your junk." I haven't heard that in ages!
Anyway, I still think it's harder to shave one's naughty bits. There are a lot of small spaces that are hard to get at with that great big razor head (well, great big comparatively).
:)
[Ooh! Good point, Camogirl. If you're going to shave your bits you want to use a men's razor since the heads on women's razors are often way bigger. Also I could be totally in denial here but I didn't have much trouble with all the angles around my naughty bits and, on this point anyway, I'm pretty sure boy parts are just as complicated to navigate around and over with a razor, and certainly as subject to nicks, as girl parts. Thanks! --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 13:36.
Yeah, evidently you have never cut your labia major or you may not agree with your own argument.
It is utterly horrifying to swipe the razor through the shaving gel and bring up a foamy white razor streaked with bright red blood. Then, you aren't even sure where you cut yourself and you rinse off and see blood in the water and stumble out of the shower pulling TP from the roll and attempting to locate the cut while the TP is all soggy and wet and bloody.
At least when you cut your chin you can SEE where to put the TP dot to stop the blood. Labia cut is much much worse.
[If nicking a lower lip hurts as much as nicking an upper one then yes it must be awful. I wasn't trying to argue that people *should* shave, by the way, only that men's chins are an overlooked component that ought to be taken into account. Thanks, Wendy. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 14:07.
I for one looove the feeling of a beard or even the scratchy rub of a new beard, especially on the back of my neck... Can't say as I'm much of a fan of clean shaven pubic areas either; I second Veronica's comment about the maddening itch when it grows back. For a clean but not bare pubic look, a man's beard trimmer works wonders and does not nick, cut or otherwise induce trauma on those sensitive areas.
[I agree, by the way, that at least for pubic hair trimming gives you *at least* 80% of the benefit with only 20% of the hassles. Thanks, Kitty. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 14:20.
I seem to remember a post where you wrote about variation of vulvas. I would think there is more variation of vulvas than in men's chins, so I don't think that is a good comparison. Not only does you junk change thru puberty, it also changes through childbirth (hope your obgyn is a good surgeon)and if you gain or lose weight. We mustn't forget gravity. It may not change enough where it would prevent continuos grooming, but one of those changes may make it more difficult than shaving your face. I'd be really impressed, if you shaved with a straight razor.
[It's worth pointing out how common goatees were in the days of straight razors. You had to be close to crazy to try shaving lips and chins with those things. And these days I think it's crazy to shave anything tricky unless you've a) got a new multi-blade (four or five is best) razor and b) a new or almost new head on the razor. Nicks almost always means the blades are dull. Thanks, Five. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 16:22.
Men: Don't wax your face. It will rip your skin off.
[Yikes! You've talked me out of it, Emily. Thank you! --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 16:59.
All the gay guys wax their legs and trim their pubes reguarly. I know Jamie almost once had a "Theres Something About Mary" moment using wax once!
[Thanks, ACL. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 20:29.
Shaving seems to be an area where cultural norms really dictate what a lot of people do. I have noticed that Americans seem really interested in hair removal for ladies, more so than the Europeans I know. One lady from Iran told me that from girlhood onwards she has removed all the hair on her body for hygiene reasons. It's also a sub-culture thing I think because environmental science students/professionals and alternative life style people I have known seem less concerned, but who knows what people do to their private parts and I don't ask!
I rather like men's beards when they get long enough to be soft, but I also like the softness of a newly shaven face as well. We used to line up to kiss father after he shaved!
Personally, apart from waxing my legs for very important occasions, I don't worry much about hair removal. I don't even cut my hair - just let it grow very long. However, when my father was ill and could no longer groom himself I had to help out. I just could not master wet shaving. After he was cut by a nurse who bravely tried to deal with his growing beard I went out and bought an electric razor. He grumbled at the quality of the shave, but liked the face massage and attention, plus the ability to do some of the job himself. I didn't care at all about the quality of the shave, as long as I did not see any blood!
All in all, an interesting topic from both a practical and cultural point of view!
[Yes, it's definitely a cultural thing, and within cultures it's also a fashion thing. For instance back in the 1970s, and the 1890's, abundant pubic hair was considered extravagantly sexy. It's *also* a class thing, evidently. In a marketing article I read back in the 1970s, manufacturers were having a hard time selling women's shaving products in South America because, evidently, less body hair was associated with the indigenous population and therefore more body hair was associated with higher-status European heritage. So go figure. Incidentally until sometime in the 1950s suntans were avoided because only farmers, farmworkers, and other laborers who worked in the sun had tans. Thanks, Avalon. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Tue, 2006-10-24 21:41.
*shrug* I guess I'm odder than I thought, then, cause I happen to like my men furry. I protest every time the beau tries to shave beneath his jawline :p
[Glad you like furry men, by the way. I don't ordinarily shave my body hair. If it's his preference to shave more it's fine to express your opinion, but philosophically I'm inclined to leave it up to him since the alternative is also letting other people pressure partners into shaving when they'd rather not. Thanks, Sara. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Wed, 2006-10-25 06:17.
I prefer men with hair and I love scratchy stubble. I don't mind if a man trims his pubic hair but completely removing the hair? yuck. Sorry just my preference.
As for me I remove as much of my hair as I possibly can aside from that which is on my head. I keep the pubes shaved at all times and fluctuate between 100% no hair and the landing strip depending on my mood. Most adult women do not look pre-pubescent when hairless. I'd prefer to wax down there but don't always have the time to get it done. They do make tiny little razors now for the "bikini area" and they work really well getting to all of various areas and angles.
[Yeah, over the years I've gotten pretty hairy so I don't even know where I'd start if I really wanted to shave full time. Plus it would take a week. :-) Good to know they're coming around on razors for women. Thanks, Elise. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Wed, 2006-10-25 06:21.
My man is, well... a gorilla, lol. He is 100 percent eastern European, so he is basically covered in thick black hair from head to toe. He had a goatee for many years, which, while it looked great on him, made kissing and oral sex not so fun sometimes. I was thrilled when he shaved it for good, and he looks great, too. He also has a lot of pubic hair, and while I do like to help him keep it trimmed back, I don't especially like it to be bare, largely because I am pretty much totally bare in the nether regions, and bare skin on bare during sex feels REALLY bad, trust me. The friction made tiny scrapes all over my pubic mound, OUCH!. So, I like a hairy 'manly' man (though of course a man can be plenty manly even without tons of hair (-;.) But, fwiw, I don't think that shaving the pubic hair, on either sex, makes one look pre-pubescent. The anatomical structure is just simply so clearly adult and different from a child's body, that even if a person's pubic areas are waxed shiny bald, they don't look like a child. But that's my opine.
[No, our post-pubescent anatomy is *very* different. I hadn't thought about the skin-on-skin problem. Yikes! Thanks, Lydia. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Wed, 2006-10-25 11:25.
Hello, I've just open my own erotic blog. Come and see me at
www.mytits15.blogspot.com
leave a comment and spread my adress
bye bye
[Um, thanks, S15. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Wed, 2006-10-25 12:08.
It is interesting this one, isn't it? I like my men (she says in the plural, I wish!) to have quite some hair but not too much. I really don't care for these muscle-bound hairless wonders which seem to be portrayed everywhere, but are they really what women want?
Mostly I just love men whatever they look like, but given a choice I'd prefer to know, and feel, scratchy or not, it's a real adult man I have.
Figleaf, I have only just found you, you're great!
[Are they really what women want? Nah, just like "men" "women" is too big a category to nail down to one preference, eh? Thanks for your kind words, A. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Wed, 2006-10-25 18:03.
Sometimes, a hairless man is beautiful to look at because of his musculature and how the light hits him. When I touch a man, I really love arm hair, leg hair, and the pleasure trail from belly to groin.
YAY MEN!
[Thanks, Xenovia. --fl]
Submitted by 988 (not verified) on Mon, 2006-10-30 21:54.
I am a menace with a razor and always have been, so I'd never take one to my pubic area. Then again, I don't shave my legs either. I go at both with a buzz clippers, which is much less dangerous in my hands. (And since I'm redheaded, this works fine for the leg hair.) It does make my legs perpetually stubbly, but somehow my Old Man doesn't seem to mind.
When I do buzz my nether regions, I like to go pretty close down under, mostly to enable greater access for both me and my man. But I find the angle very tricky to get. (And I do yoga!) I must say, I'm impressed with folks who manage that rather acrobatic angle. Perhaps practice makes perfect.
[Yep, practice always helps. Also, compared to razors most handheld trimmers aren't angled very well. The lack of angle makes it a lot harder to reach the netheriest parts of our nether parts. The great news? It's all optional anyway. Thanks, E. --fl]