Couldn't post this to my own blog cause my stepdaughter reads it, but thought you'd appreciate this:

My husband is well known in our relationship for not being able to simply Leave Me Alone while I am having my evening bath/shower. Always has something to ask, something to tell me. I, on the other hand, have a reputation for keeping calm, getting him what he wants, and going on with my life. It works for us. So last night he's looking for some information for tax stuff, and I'm running a bath.

"It's in my address book by the phone in the kitchen."

He goes.

I get naked and he is back. "I can't find it. It's not there."

So I follow him, naked, to the kitchen, which is on the other side of the house. You actually can't walk farther in my house than from the master bath to the kitchen unless you go to the dining room. On the way he asks, "are you gonna make me Theraflu tonight?" He can't make his own Theraflu, btw.

"It's right there. In the address book. By the phone. In the kitchen. Where I told you."

"Oh. I'll make a photocopy." And he takes the page out of my looseleaf addy book and walks downstairs to the copy machine in his basement office.

I'm naked, but I'm in the kitchen, so I pour a mug of water into the HotShot to make Theraflu and cut myself a smidgen of our 2yo's birthday cake. Some chocolate frosting falls on my right boob. He returns.

"Oh, shoot, I got frosting on my boob."

He licks it off.

"Thanks. Here's your Theraflu. "

"Thank you, ma'am." He puts the page back in my address book and goes back to work on the taxes.

We've been married ten years.

Almost time for bed, but
Licking chocolate frosting
From your two year old's birthday cake
Off the boob
In the kitchen
After ten years
Is just grooming your monkey mate,
Not eroticism.
But it's all good.

[That's so sweet than he licked it off your boob and left you alone to take your bath. I could do that too, though I might be mentally processing a little in the process. It's good to have boundaries in a relationship. On the other hand (as the "can't or won't heat his own heat water" thing suggests) it's good to reassess boundaries every now and then or they become habits rather than courtesies. :-) Thanks, Fran. --fl]

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Oh. Damn. MORE links to masturbate to.

Uh...not that I DO, I'm just speaking theoretically....

Yeah.

[Of *course* you do, in very non-theoretical ways. You masturbate. Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate. :-) And ain't it grand? People who don't just don't know what they're missing! Or if they do know what they're missing and don't masturbate anyway... well they *know what they're missing!* You're not one of them. Me either. Neither are most people, though a lot of us are usually shy about saying it. Thank you, thank you for the wonderful comment, Mona. --fl]

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