I keep smacking my beak against this picture window but I know there’s something in what I’ve tried to say over and over about owning one’s own sexuality. I talked about Elizabeth “My body will be his playground only” Sandoval here. I’ve talked about Laura “my body belongs to one person — me” Tooth here. You’ll find previous attempts further back in my archives and posts and comments on other sites.

This time I think I’ve got it:

If you’re saving yourself for anyone, save it for yourself. If you’re waiting for the right person, remember the real right person has to be you.

Neo-victorians like Sandoval are correct that “But mom, all the other kids are doing it” doesn’t make you ready, but wrong to imagine “I now pronounce you man and wife” automatically does.

We can leave it to others to debate whether that alone is sufficient to owning one’s sexuality but this prudish libertine says it’s fundamentally necessary.